


lyrics

by bbangcore



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Best Friend Soonyoung, Canon Compliant, Friends to Lovers, Height Differences, Jigyu roommates, Just a little crying, Love Confessions, M/M, Mingyu is questioning, Mostly Fluff, Slightly referenced jeongcheol and soonwoo but not too much, gyuhoon, jigyu - Freeform, jihoon doesn't know how to express his emotions, jihoon is always working in the studio, lots of hugs and cuddles, mild jealousy but it's not toxic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:08:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 41
Words: 31,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26237632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bbangcore/pseuds/bbangcore
Summary: "i'm fine. it's late. get to bed."so jihoon said he was fine, but the lyrics scribbled in his handwriting bundled behind mingyu's back said otherwise.
Relationships: Kim Mingyu/Lee Jihoon | Woozi
Comments: 28
Kudos: 70





	1. prologue

"jihoon, are you okay?"

mingyu asked with a bewildered expression, the piece of crumpled paper which contained dozens of wasted words gripped behind his back.

jihoon simpered, already on his way back to the studio.

"i'm fine. it's late. get to bed."

his voice was raspier than usual, either because it was late at night and jihoon was exhausted, or he was worn out by something somehow.

his commands didn't have as much vigor as they used to; even jihoon's natural stubborn behavior seemed tired.

mingyu couldn't protest against the elder and sighed in defeat.

he knew there was no point in asking jihoon anything personal, especially regarding his emotions.

jihoon was a very closed off person, so it didn't come as a surprise to mingyu that he said he was fine.

and as convincing as jihoon tried to be, with the frequent use of obstinacy in his tone, mingyu was aware that something was up.

after all, sometimes words written had more power than words spoken.

so jihoon said he was fine, but the lyrics scribbled in his handwriting bundled behind mingyu's back said otherwise.


	2. Chapter 2

mingyu woke up the next morning later than usual, as he stayed up late last night looking over jihoon's lyrics.

but after getting some sleep and having time to collect his thoughts, mingyu convinced himself that the words were just conveyed in an angst to strike more effect in the potential song.

it wasn't uncommon for jihoon to abandon songs altogether, even if the lyrics were extremely impactful, even if he spent hours composing them.

but mingyu still couldn't shake the thought that something had to be wrong with the older boy.

the voice in the back of his head prodded him with questions, yet mingyu again brushed them off, figuring it was just his obscene concern getting the best of him.

speaking of jihoon, he wasn't in bed.

it wasn't rare for jihoon to pull all-nighters, no matter how many times the others told him not to.

the older boy always worked so so hard for seventeen.

mingyu had yet to inquire further on jihoon's wellness, as he remained dissatisfied with the response he received last night.

normally, mingyu would have to be up to make breakfast for everyone, but regarding that no one in the house bothered to awaken him, he figured they fended for themselves.

which meant mingyu had time to talk with jihoon.

even though the elder always professed his need for privacy and his hatred for being interrupted, mingyu's persistence seemed to grant him somewhat of an exception.

he stepped out of his dorm, heading over to the in-house studio, as jihoon was more than likely to be in there.

slowly creaking open the surprisingly unlocked door, not wanting to disrupt jihoon's work, mingyu peaked through quietly.

jihoon- evidently- had been working at the desktop, but apparently all night long, as his headphones hung around his neck, and his head was against the computer keyboard which was propped atop of dozens of notes.

the monitor shined bright, the audio lengths on screen remained untampered, and the several open tabs undisclosed.

jihoon must've fell asleep while working.

again.

as unhealthy as it was to work himself to this extent, jihoon ignored everyone's concerns, so the boys had decided to let him be.

he was a grown adult after all; he knew his limits.

mingyu walked over, saving the data on screen before turning off the monitor.

as he was about to remove jihoon's headphones, he took account of the scattered papers jihoon laid his head atop of.

the papers had scribbled notes just as small reminders to add more treble in some sections of the song or of which member's voice would fit each part the best.

but the new set of unfinished lyrics that was beneath all the other notes lit mingyu's thoughts ablaze.

no doubt they were jihoon's, and no doubt he had written them last night, or supposed early this morning.

_all the trivial things that keep washing away  
you're already so far away inside  
you who'd lean on me during hard times  
walking slowly and heavily  
and then you became a part of my memories  
happiness oh oh and sadness oh oh  
am i wrong for hoping  
that all of it would come back to me?_

mingyu wondered now what this was supposed to mean, but refused to let his bewilderment get the best of him at the moment.

his main priority was to get jihoon out of this compact studio, and into his bed for some sleep, even though it was soon to be early afternoon and it would throw off his non-existent sleeping schedule.

it was fine though, because they didn't have practice today anyways.

mingyu gently pulled jihoon away from the desktop, hoisting him briefly in his arms as the smaller boy slouched in his slumber.

mingyu leaned down and swiftly took jihoon completely up into his embrace.

this wasn't too unusual for one of the members to have to take jihoon out of the studio, but mingyu was preferred, as even though he was the biggest out of the whole group, he was deemed as the most careful with jihoon and had the lowest chance of the smaller waking up when he carried him.

holding the lighter boy, one warm hand on the underside of his thighs, the other on his nape, mingyu carefully stepped out of the studio and back towards the dorm.

ever so carefully, he laid jihoon down to his elevated mattress, and gently pulled the covers over him.

just as it was his body's natural instinct to leave jihoon by himself, something halted mingyu and he remained by the side of the bed, ogling at the older boy.

subtle dark bags had formed under jihoon's eyes, and his usually full ivory skin had seemed flushed.

the composer had seemed to be so drained these days, and it only furthered mingyu's concerns, plus that of the lyrics.

mingyu figured he shouldn't stare much longer and leave jihoon to himself.

he cautiously brought a hand up to the side of jihoon's cold cheek, tucking his black hair behind his ear, and finally arose to his feet.

tip-toeing out of the room and shutting the door behind him, mingyu attempted to resist two urges surging inside him.

one of them being to wake up jihoon and beg to know if he was alright, as the itching ache to know was somewhat irritable at this point.

the other was to just head into the studio and see in on what jihoon had been writing to look further into it.

either way it would invade the older boy's privacy, so mingyu withheld himself from doing either, and instead set foot in the direction of the living room to the other boys.

maybe he'd have time to think about it later.

_*lyrics: Drift Away- Seventeen*_


	3. Chapter 3

mingyu didn't even mean to find them at first.

he was just getting out of bed for a midnight snack, when he almost slipped from the piece of paper on the floor.

mingyu figured the paper must belong to jihoon, his music composer dormmate, as mingyu hardly ever hand-wrote things.

unable to read the scribbled characters in the dark, he stepped outside of the room just enough to let the living room lamp shine dully in his sight.

jihoon, obviously working in seventeen's in-house studio at the moment, probably left some notes in the room that he'd come back to retrieve later.

mingyu thought he was just doing the older boy a favor by returning these.

until his eyes skimmed upon the words.

_can't see the end  
when i open my eyes in bed  
i still haven't come out of my gravity defying dream  
is it morning? is it night? i don't even know  
as i wash away the haziness at the sink  
but everything stays the same  
i see myself in the mirror with  
several days worth of makeup  
my skin is ruined and i feel like i lost my goal  
the dark circles underneath just get deeper_

and thus lead to that awkward interaction with jihoon just a few moments later, where mingyu's thoughts were caught up about the millions of questions he had, and all he could ask is if jihoon was okay.

after jihoon casually brushed him off, mingyu was left standing in the dark with the lyrics on the paper gripped tight behind his back.

he went back to their room, inferring that maybe it was better to keep his discovery to himself.

he slouched in his bed and looked over the qualities of the paper again.

the pencil handwriting- definitely jihoon's- was sloppy and messy with side-notes in the margins, which was unusual as jihoon was the more organized type.

mingyu knew the older boy well enough to understand that these may be one of hundreds of abandoned lyrics, as jihoon does countless weeks worth of writing for seventeen's songs.

but something just seemed off with these, as there were many phrases scribbled out and erased, and the portion mingyu read was barely legible due to smudges.

he knew very well that jihoon's literary ability could affect the hearts of fans everywhere, but something just wasn't right with these.

it seemed all too personal, which is why jihoon probably wouldn't publish it.

the question was, were these words for poetic effect or a silent cry of desperation?

mingyu didn't know.

he couldn't bring it up to jihoon himself, as he knew of the older boy's tendency to get overly defensive and closed off.

he'd just have to wait a bit, maybe look over the lyrics a few more times in case he misunderstood or overlooked something in the message.

but although jihoon was apt to being stubborn, mingyu tended to be overly focused on the smallest things that shouldn't concern him at all.

he couldn't look too far into it, afraid that he was overstepping his boundaries and reaching for a reason behind the lyrics.

after all, they could've just been simple thoughts that jihoon felt to jot down, and frankly it was none of mingyu's business on what the composer was up to.

but something still irked mingyu more than usual, he just didn't know what.

*lyrics: Can't See The End- Seventeen*

**[note- all lyrics in this story are seventeen songs. i do not know if they are accurately translated. for the purposes of this story, these songs will serve as jihoon's unpublished lyrics.]**


	4. Chapter 4

"well good morning to you."

seungcheol called out towards mingyu from the couch.

scattered about were some of the other boys, watching tv or talking, who have now directed their attention to the tall man that just walked into the room.

the ones missing must've been doing extra dancing or getting out of the house for a change.

"we didn't wanna wake you up because jihoon said you were awake late last night. we figured to let you sleep in."

spoke jeonghan from beside the leader, seungcheol's arm wrapped around his shoulder.

"speaking of jihoon," interjected soonyoung from the edge of the sofa, "is he still working?"

mingyu shook his head, the thought of his overworked friend and his lyrics running through his head again.

"i checked on him when i woke up. he was passed out in the studio, so i brought him back to bed. but you guys should be quieter though. you know how annoyed he gets."

jeonghan shook his head, his mother-like instincts showing.

"no matter how many times we have told him to get his work schedule under control, he never listens."

mingyu wasn't sure now if he should bring up the lyrics or not.

yes, it was technically an invasion of jihoon's privacy, and the older members would definitely get on mingyu's case for overlooking the composer's things.

but mingyu lived up to his name as a curious puppy, so controlling his spiraling thoughts wasn't so easy.

mingyu sighed as the boys proceeded to do whatever they were previously up to.

he turned away from the living room, and made his way to the small in-house studio that jihoon usually resided in.

jihoon was asleep now, surely he wouldn't mind mingyu doing a little bit of research.

he was cautious however, as if jihoon saw one thing out of place, he would instantly suspect that someone had rummaged through his things.

a place in mingyu's chest burnt with guilt for looking through jihoon's private notes, but his curiosity had gotten the best of him.

carefully walking into the studio, nothing was unchanged from just a few moments ago where he carried the older boy out.

the keyboard at the desk where jihoon spent months worth operating on had covered most of the spaced out papers.

mingyu told himself he wouldn't be too invasive, that he would only look at an extra paper or two just to get some hints on jihoon's emotional status.

one paper turned into two, and two turned to three.

_i miss you, i need you  
even in my dreams i'm with you..  
i miss you, i need you  
rewind back the time  
i wanna kiss you again my love_

_tears fall again  
without stopping, they fall  
i feel like i know, no wait, i know now  
if it's not you, i can't_

_just things like that inside  
drifting across your heart  
i can never let go of  
i know i'm still a child now  
i can't catch up to you yet  
only a little while more_

it didn't make sense; there was no common theme with jihoon's writing.

some were about himself, some were about an anonymous other.

but none of them seemed to have a ultimate positive light to them.

none of them gave mingyu the happy-go-lucky vibe that most of their previous songs had.

if jihoon didn't plan on publishing these lyrics, why would he even bother writing so many?

were they intended for future ballads or vocal line songs?

why would jihoon write so many ideas in one night if none of the pieces fit together?

mingyu wondered if they're just unanimous thoughts that jihoon felt the need to inscribe, or there was a message through all of them hidden in plain sight.

it took a few moments until mingyu comprehended that he was getting carried away.

with three sheets of crumpled paper in his hands at the moment, he stopped himself, setting them back under the keyboard.

he figured he must leave the studio without a trace, as it wouldn't be too long before jihoon woke up and would head right back in there.

as mingyu stood up, however, just as he was about to exit, he was stopped in his tracks by the door opening before him.

looking down, he was met with the confused presence of the small composer, jihoon himself, standing in front of him.

_*lyrics: Because of You, I Don't Know, When I Grow Up- Seventeen*_


	5. Chapter 5

"what do you think you're doing?"

jihoon inquired, looking up at mingyu who was frozen in the doorway.

he had been so easily defensive lately; even though he was stubborn before, he usually wasn't this abrupt.

"jihoonie-hyung, i was just-"

for once mingyu didn't have an excuse.

how was he supposed to come up with an idea to subdue the fact that he was looking through jihoon's work?

"yeah, whatever. i've told all of you so many times not to go in my studio without permission."

although he was small, jihoon still managed to push beside mingyu with enough force to make the tall man step away.

"you didn't go through my stuff, did you? gyu, i thought you were old enough to know not to invade other people's things."

mingyu watched as the older boy moved the keyboard to the side and gathered up his scattered papers.

mingyu didn't know what he was going to do with them, but he needed the lyrics for more reference, and if jihoon was going to throw them away, that would make mingyu's concerns flare even more.

if they were just incomplete songs, why would jihoon be in such a rush to hide them?

the taller boy stood in the middle of the doorway, not allowing jihoon to exit the studio without an explanation to his passive aggressive behavior.

"let me through please."

jihoon demanded in a low tone, keeping his head down, his short black hair fallen to shield his gaze.

"hyung, i need to talk to you-"

"not now."

mingyu was taken aback.

even though jihoon tended to be harsh sometimes, he was never this short with his words.

something had to be bugging him, something had to be wrong.

"i don't have the time. now can i go?"

jihoon's high voice wavered, and he refrained from meeting eyes with the taller boy looking down on him.

but the only thing stronger than mingyu's curiosity at the moment was his persistence.

"no, jihoon."

it was very rare for mingyu to ever tell jihoon no, not only because he was younger than jihoon and was supposed to abide to him, but also because he had never been so encapsulated by a task at hand.

"are you okay? you keep ignoring me."

"i told you i'm fine now-"

he tried pushing past mingyu again, until mingyu took a strong grip of jihoon's forearm, stopping him in his tracks.

"jihoon, you're not fine and those lyrics of yours have something to do with it."

he tried not to raise his voice so much, as he learned over time that it was easy for jihoon's mind to get clouded with disdain through the smallest of actions.

he heard the small boy's breath choke up in his throat.

for once, jihoon was speechless.

mingyu just wanted to understand.

jihoon was never mean- with the exception of some stern tone while producing- so he had to get an answer to clear up the confusion of jihoon's rather monotonous and stubborn behavior.

he cared a lot- almost too much- for jihoon.

the air was still for a minute, even the voices of the boys from the living room have seemed to stop droning on.

just a split second later, jihoon's breaths became shaky.

he clutched the stack of lyrics to his chest with one arm, his grip trembling.

because mingyu was much bigger, it was difficult to see what was going on with the elder, so he crouched down to one knee to meet jihoon's height and look up to see him.

he gently let go of jihoon's arm, to which the older boy immediately brought it up to cover his face.

jihoon was blushing furiously, either in frustration or embarrassment.

even though it was ever so subtle, mingyu could tell the older boy was overwhelmed.

it had been so long since he even displayed emotions of distraught.

it shattered mingyu's heart, as the strong persona jihoon had withheld for so long was deteriorating right before his eyes.

his stature seemed so innocent.

it hurt mingyu to know that what was being shown now was probably a fraction of the confusing emotions of what jihoon was feeling entirely.

jihoon sniffled, refusing to meet eyes with mingyu, still holding the papers to his chest with more tightness than ever.

"just, please minggu."

the way he whimpered out mingyu's name in that adorable little pronunciation that melted the younger's heart, it stung like a knife driving through mingyu's chest.

"let me go. i have work to do."

as much as mingyu could easily hold jihoon back and get answers from him, it absolutely tore him apart seeing jihoon slowly losing himself, and he couldn't bear to see him like that much longer.

he let his heart take over his mind for the millionth time, let out a deep sigh, stood up and backed away from the doorway.

jihoon, acknowledging the clearing, walked in the direction towards his bedroom.

he locked the door behind him.


	6. Chapter 6

"what just happened? mingyu? where'd jihoon go?"

asked jeonghan, who was among the boys who had their attention grabbed by mingyu and jihoon's conversation. 

mingyu swallowed, the only thought circulating through his mind was how truly torn jihoon just looked.

jihoon left the studio as an escape from showing how he truly felt.

no, he left _mingyu_ as an escape from showing his emotions.

"i don't even know. i take it jihoon-hyung is just overwhelmed."

it was true mingyu didn't know why jihoon would get so bent out of shape, but he also understood very well that those specific lyrics could provide some explanation.

jeonghan sighed, turning to soonyoung who was knocking on the door to jihoon's locked room.

"jihoonie, is everything alright? are you busy?"

seungcheol was also over there, his ear pressed up to the door in attempt to hear a response.

the rest of the boys either surrounded soonyoung, or quietly spectated from the living room.

finally after a few minutes of persistence, there was a muffled reply from behind the door that mingyu couldn't hear from where he was standing.

the boys then turned away from the door, knowing jihoon was probably going to lock himself in for the remainder of the day to probably write or come up with more ideas.

this wasn't the first time he had secluded himself away from the others, either in his room or the studio, but it was the first time he had been seen visibly distressed before doing so.

everyone figured he was either moody or stressed, which wasn't rare for the composer.

the day later progressed, it was dinner time, and mingyu and junhui had prepared the meals.

mingyu watched from afar as soonyoung knocked on jihoon's door again, asking if he'd come to eat.

when soonyoung turned away in defeat, indicating he didn't receive a response, mingyu felt even more guilty.

he knew it wasn't entirely his fault for jihoon's mood, but he shouldn't have invaded jihoon's privacy in the first place.

mingyu, who usually had one of the biggest appetites, remained picking at his food for the whole dinner.

his mind was just clouded with uneasiness.

it was his fault after all that jihoon got flustered.

all the boys had their fair share of outbursts, but somehow jihoon's attitude change was different.

maybe it was because he held up a strong front for the longest time, and it was frustrating for him to keep such a poker-face.

but also lately, now that mingyu had taken account of jihoon's recent behavior, the elder boy had been distancing himself further and further from everyone else.

he always blamed it on work, but even then that was a reach.

mingyu was always known for his impeccable connections to others.

he figured he was just feeling uneasy because of the bond he had with jihoon.

sure they weren't the closest members of the group, but sharing a dorm for years and being inseparable during pre-debut had an effect on mingyu.

speaking of dorms, mingyu was going to have to sleep on the couch if jihoon was going to lock himself in their shared room all night.

also for once, mingyu was quiet.

the boys always teased him for being so loud and energetic, but it just seemed wrong for him not to be.

"gyu, are you good? you haven't said anything all night, and you've barely eaten."

questioned wonwoo from beside him.

"right, is this because of jihoon? what even happened? he get under your skin?"

seungcheol added to the conversation in question.

"ah, no i think i got under his though."

mingyu mumbled, still picking at his food.

"now that i think about it, jihoon-hyung has been quite cranky lately. whenever i wanna talk to him, he tells me he can't because of work."

chan spoke with his mouth full from the end of the table.

"what work could he possibly be doing? we just had our comeback."

joshua murmured.

the conversation had then spiraled into everyone speaking up of their concerns for jihoon.

"he normally lets me join him in the studio, but over these past few weeks, he always shuns me away."

"he usually acts so soft and sweet, even when he's stern he never means it out of rudeness. now it's like he's frustrated or bothered by something."

"and when he does join us for dinner, he usually takes it into his studio. i wonder what he does in there."

"i mean we've been in there with him before. there's nothing really too interesting to do in there besides record and compose."

mingyu thanked god that he wasn't the only one noticing this.

when dinner ended and everyone pretty much voiced their opinion, they all started heading into the living room or their dorms.

it was already almost pitch black outside, although it wasn't late evening yet.

mingyu aimlessly watched tv with the clump of boys that decided to stay up, but one by one they started exiting slowly, leaving mingyu alone with soonyoung.

"you're not going to bed yet?"

mingyu inquired, and soonyoung seeming almost as precarious as he was.

maybe he was confused about jihoon's behavior too, as he was jihoon's best friend.

"i guess i should."

he mumbled.

if anyone was more hyper than mingyu, it was soonyoung, and seeing him so concealed was odd.

"you okay, hyung?"

soonyoung exhaled hard.

"it's just, jihoon. he's been closed off with me too. he wasn't like this before the comeback, which is weird. he would've told me what was wrong, right? i'm his best friend for crying out loud."

mingyu didn't even get time to respond before soonyoung stood up.

"when him and i talk in the studio, he slips up on his words sometimes and never seems to notice. so if he accidentally blurts out something he doesn't mean to, he usually doesn't remember saying it. if you guys do end up talking again, listen carefully. maybe we could get some explanation as to why he's so stressed."

mingyu took soonyoung's words into account, saving them in his mind in case he ever stumbles upon jihoon any time soon.

"anyways, figuring you're sleeping here tonight, i suppose i should leave you alone."

and with that he headed towards his dorm, leaving mingyu by himself in the dim living room.


	7. Chapter 7

mingyu couldn't seem to fall asleep, either because the couch was too narrow and uncomfortable for him, or because of the itching reminder that he was only out here because he bothered jihoon.

also he was laying right by the end table, which upon sat the lamp they always left on, and it beamed bright in mingyu's face, making it harder to sleep.

it was well past midnight, and mingyu had wasted the hours away by scrolling through the minimal content on his phone.

jihoon had to be asleep by now as the composer just seemed so exhausted.

mingyu came to the conclusion that he was going to pull an all-nighter, as he already gained inability to close his eyes for more than a blink.

he already braced himself for a long cold night of aimless thoughts and quiet atmosphere.

that was until he heard a doorknob turn.

with the usual loud chatter of the boys not there at the moment, mingyu could hear even the smallest of sounds.

and being closer to the lamp, he could make out movements from the objects and furniture around him.

the door opening creaked impossibly slow, the screech of the wood against the hinges dragged out long.

mingyu squinted.

the opening had came from his and jihoon's room, and he saw a shadow peeking out from the doorway.

instantly, mingyu shut his phone off and pretended to be asleep.

he didn't want to disturb jihoon yet again.

he heard the soft tap of footsteps head towards him.

tension rose in mingyu's chest, as he was battling an internal conflict on what the reason could be of jihoon approaching him.

there was a pause, and mingyu could hear jihoon's soft breathing.

mingyu almost had a heart attack when he felt a gentle tap on his shoulder.

the tap progressed into a gradual shake, as if jihoon was trying to wake him up.

mingyu slowly blinked his eyes open, his gaze focusing on jihoon who looked down on him.

jihoon's deep russet eyes twinkled in the reflection of the lamp, his cheeks a pale pink, his velvety lips pursed.

"jihoonie-hyung?"

mingyu spoke in a husk, sitting up.

"i just-"

jihoon cut himself off with a sigh, biting the inside of his now red cheek.

"two things. first, i wanna apologize, especially to you, for being rude earlier. i know you didn't have bad intentions."

there were long pauses between his sentences, but mingyu listened patiently.

he didn't care if it would take hours for jihoon to speak up, because he'd wait.

he'd wait for jihoon no matter what.

"and also, i figured you'd want to sleep in your actual bed. i remember how you always hated this damn couch. so the room's open. i was planning on heading back to the studio anyways."

jihoon's voice returned to his usual soft high tone, with the shy curling of his words at the end of every sentence that he always spoke in.

"i know you have questions, but-"

jihoon cringed somehow, his head now turned away from the taller boy.

it seemed like it was painful for jihoon to speak up.

"no, it's fine. i completely understand if you're just busy with work. you do so much for us so i have no room to complain."

mingyu replied in a brighter tone, afraid that the older boy would get more embarrassed than he already visibly was.

"thanks hyung."

jihoon nodded back in acknowledgment, but didn't say anything further.

as mingyu stood to his feet, relieved to head back to his comfortable bed, he paused for a brief moment to see jihoon somewhat frozen in his tracks beside him.

jihoon always got like that when he needed something, all tense and awkward.

mingyu wondered what jihoon wanted, maybe to talk further if anything.

but before mingyu could ask, time seemed to start again for the older boy and jihoon already was headed to the studio.

it wasn't too impossibly late at night, and mingyu was starting to change his plans of an all-nighter, so he just simply went towards the now vacant bedroom.

nothing seemed unchanged in the room, both his and jihoon's beds were left like they were that morning.

although there was no trace of the stack of jihoon's abandoned lyrics anywhere.

mingyu refused to look through any of jihoon's stuff in attempt to find them.

even though he still longed for more information, he told his thoughts to shut up so he could actually get some sleep.

he hopped into bed, when he heard a crunching or crinkling sound beneath his comforter.

instantly reacting, he pulled the duvet to the side to find a single piece of paper.

did jihoon deliberately put this here, or was he in mingyu's bed and left this accidentally?

mingyu didn't want to look at the paper, but knowing that the door was shut and jihoon was in the studio at the moment, he figured it couldn't kill to give a glance.

the words written seemed to be an ordinary set of sad lyrics yet again, and mingyu couldn't think more into what the context could've meant.

_i should've gone to you first and told you  
i should've said that you're a different me  
you more than myself, i love you_

_a common love that will be forgotten by a different love  
because that's me, that's why i'm crying alone_

_*lyrics: Missed Connections- Seventeen*_


	8. Chapter 8

mingyu, although not having slept long, managed to wake up at the break of dawn.

he felt somewhat refreshed; he figured it was just the slight closure he gained from the brief conversation he had with jihoon last night.

not only was it his job to prepare breakfast for all the boys in the early morning, but it was also his responsibility to wake up jihoon and those in the dorms downstairs.

as he rubbed his hazy eyes and sat up, he was almost startled to see a figure in the neighboring bed.

it had seemed like ages since jihoon had actually slept like a normal person, as he always used to be so caught up with work in the studio.

even then, jihoon slept in the studio too, so mingyu didn't know what finally compelled the older boy to finally join him in the dorm.

mingyu got out of bed, slowly approaching jihoon's sleeping figure.

the smaller boy had wrapped himself up in the thick blanket that engulfed him entirely, his face visible from his nose up only.

his messy black hair was pushed away from his forehead, his cheeks not so full, but retained more color than they did when mingyu last saw him.

it reminded him so much of the old days where mingyu would gently coax jihoon awake, and then carry him in whatever way out to the kitchen.

he brought up a soft caress to jihoon's cheek, tucking his hair behind his ear, before trailing his hand down to his collar and delicately shaking him.

as much as jihoon hated being referred to as small and cute, he was making awfully difficult to call him anything other than such.

"jihoonie-hyung, come on. time to get up."

mingyu cooed to the older.

jihoon grumbled, and attempted to weakly tug the covers over his head.

this was so much like the old times where there was less tension, and it struck mingyu with an intense nostalgic pain.

mingyu chuckled at the stubborn antics of the elder; he couldn't help but awe at how adorable jihoon looked with a sleepy pout on his face as he sat up.

"minggu..."

his voice dragged out, speaking now in the cute dialect he always used in attempt to get what he wanted.

"come on hyung. i need to get you up so i can wake up the others."

and again, just like old times, jihoon lazily reached out grabby hands towards the taller boy, indicating that he wanted to be carried out instead.

as mingyu took jihoon upon his back for a piggyback ride, his heart fluttered.

it was as if nothing even happened yesterday.

and although mingyu still desperately wanted to know why jihoon's been off, he'd much rather prefer to continue moments like this if it meant jihoon was closer to him again.

yes, he was still indeed puzzled about the lyrics, especially the ones from last night, but the minute jihoon rested his chin over mingyu's shoulder, his heart swelled and his worries shrunk.

maybe jihoon was feeling better from whatever went down yesterday.

at least, mingyu hoped as much.


	9. Chapter 9

the morning progressed on like usual, starting with everybody waking up one by one, groaning about how it was too early or that they needed their beauty sleep.

the only thing different was that jihoon actually spent time with the boys for the first time in weeks instead of isolating himself away.

and by spending time, the reality of it was just exchanging words with soonyoung or sitting with jeonghan.

still, it was better than having him locked up in the studio working all day.

as much as mingyu didn't want to, his mind remained piercing with questions about those lyrics.

it made mingyu mad at himself that he couldn't just focus on one thing at a time; there always was that one issue in the back of his head constantly ruining the moment.

the morning quickly passed and the boys went to the dance studio to practice whatever they wanted for a few hours

when they got home in the late afternoon, jihoon finally made his retreat back to their in-house studio.

nobody was surprised, but everyone was glad that jihoon made an attempt to be more social today.

mingyu went back to his dorm, retrieving the last piece of paper jihoon left behind on his bed.

he hid it in his dresser, knowing he would be a definite suspect of taking it if jihoon ever came to look for it.

maybe it was finally time to confront jihoon about this again, of course in a less sudden, more civil manner.

jihoon was always so organized, so mingyu thought it was odd that he was leaving all these papers around so suddenly.

was it a sign that jihoon _wanted_ mingyu to see them?

or was the elder just so busy with work that he didn't have the energy to tidy his thoughts?

mingyu couldn't help but still have a gut wrenching feeling within him that jihoon was upset for some reason.

and with that confrontation from the other day, it was evident jihoon was slowly breaking.

mingyu just couldn't figure out what he could be feeling though.

_i should've gone to you first and told you  
i should've said that you're a different me  
you more than myself, i love you_

_a common love that will be forgotten by a different love  
because that's me, that's why i'm crying alone_

he read the words over again on the paper, jihoon's writing neater this time.

mingyu just didn't get it.

none of the lyrics tied together from all the sheets he had read from.

there was no common theme.

some were about love, some were about heartbreak, some were about sadness; mingyu just didn't get it.

jihoon's specialty was writing music that brings tears to eyes, so it wasn't a surprise that he had written so many dark and deep songs.

but the composer was also amazing at producing cheerful and joyful songs with lyrics that give fans butterflies and make everyone want to dance.

it was weird that mingyu hasn't found any of those happy-go-lucky lyrics lately.

to be fair, he didn't really understand the musical direction jihoon was going with for this upcoming album.

mingyu thought he was just going over the top again- like he was known for- but remembering jihoon's reaction from the other day gave assurance that mingyu wasn't reaching as much as he thought he was.

if they were "just lyrics" then why did jihoon get so bent out of shape at mingyu seeing them?

mingyu made his way to the studio, the boys in the living room paying no attention to him.

mingyu held the paper behind his back, and gently knocked on the door.

jihoon clearly was not expecting mingyu to be there, as he seemed to be taken aback by mingyu's height, his eyes widening and quickly scanning up the younger boy's body to meet his eyes.

"ah, gyu."

his voice was small and trailed off.

"hyung," mingyu conveyed in a timid tone.

he brought the sheet of lyrics out from behind his back, holding it in front of him.

jihoon's eyes skimmed over the words, his mouth going agape slightly, looking back up in confusion to mingyu.

"before you say anything, can you just hear me out? let's talk, please."


	10. Chapter 10

jihoon gulped, the atmosphere instantly growing tense between the two.

mingyu was surprised when jihoon stepped out of his way so he could take a seat in the studio with him.

jihoon perched in his office chair, sitting with his knees up to his chest, his arms wrapped around his legs.

mingyu's mind was cluttered; he honestly never thought he would've made it this far.

he didn't want to invest too much into the lyrics themselves or pressure jihoon with the tons of questions he had.

so he kept it simple.

"jihoon, please i need to know, are you okay? you've been so hostile lately."

jihoon hugged his legs tighter, looking down, his eyebrows furrowed as if he were trying to think of something to say.

"i," jihoon mumbled out as he began to visibly tremble, either in nervousness or fear of confrontation.

he took in a harsh breath, staring at the floor to avoid eye contact.

"i'm fine."

his voice wavered unconvincingly, and mingyu got out of his chair to approach the older boy.

he dropped to one knee, placing a caring hand on jihoon's shoulder as the smaller hid his face in his arms.

"i am. i really am. i'm just-"

jihoon removed his hands from his face for the briefest moment to connect gazes with the younger boy.

jihoon's black eyes were shiny, his bottom lip quivered, his face softened in a weak expression.

mingyu stared back at him with compassion and sympathy, his internal concerns blazing.

"i'm not really actually."

jihoon managed to choke out before failing at attempting to steady his breathing, and buried his face further into his knees.

mingyu heard jihoon's muffled whimpers, the older boy's body shaking.

it hurt mingyu's heart to see jihoon hurting like that.

it was saddening to see him slip a few tears, and with this breakdown happening before him, mingyu felt torn.

no one has ever seen jihoon be so upset like this.

he didn't even cry this much for their first win.

jihoon couldn't speak as his breaths were heaved.

suddenly, he dropped his knees from his grip, and lurched forward to mingyu, holding the younger boy in a tight hug.

mingyu pulled the smaller boy into a comforting embrace, feeling jihoon bury his head into his neck, the warmth of his breathing and tears heated upon mingyu's skin.

he himself had never witnessed jihoon cry so hard; he must've been holding back these emotions for too long.

even though his little cries were muted and quiet, it was still so painful to endure.

this lasted a few minutes, jihoon releasing all pent up tension of his sorrows into this hug.

at this point, the two of them were now on the floor, jihoon in mingyu's lap, legs limply bestriding the taller boy.

when mingyu felt jihoon's breathing begin to soften, it was time to finally talk about how jihoon was feeling.

"hyung?"

jihoon pulled away for a moment, rubbing his tired eyes with his fists as mingyu kept a secure hold around his waist.

he exhaled shakily, his eyes irritated from tears, his cheeks blotchy with stains.

"can we just get out of this studio?"

mingyu nodded, obliging, beginning to stand to his feet with the older boy still in his arms.

jihoon gently nuzzled his head into the crook of mingyu's neck, his face cooling down as his breathing slowed.

jihoon's legs loosely wrapped around mingyu's hips, and mingyu felt the smaller boy relax in his embrace.

this obviously wasn't the first time mingyu carried jihoon; he usually did when the elder boy was tired or stressed.

he stepped out of the studio, noticing they caught the attention of some of the other boys from the living room.

the only thing he cared about right now was jihoon, and only that.

and if mingyu had to go back to carrying the older boy around all the time and coaxing him with hugs to make jihoon feel better, he would do it without hesitation.


	11. Chapter 11

when they got to their room, mingyu insisted to keep jihoon in his embrace while they talked.

jihoon had always secretly loved physical affection, so the past few weeks of denying himself of it only made him crave it more.

it was something that helped the constantly stressed composer stay calm, despite how much he claimed he despised it.

they climbed the steps that lead up to jihoon's bed and settled there upon the mattress.

jihoon slouched in mingyu's lap, legs on either side him, his hands balled up against the tall boy's chest, breathing slow into the crook of mingyu's neck.

mingyu secured his arms around jihoon's waist, not rushing to start the conversation in fear of making the small one more anxious than he already was.

he spoke up in a gentle tone, letting the older boy know that he would cause no harm.

"jihoon, how are you feeling?"

he felt jihoon sigh as he pulled slightly away from mingyu to sit up straighter, still in his lap.

"honestly, i don't know. just a range of so many emotions."

"when did this start?"

jihoon rubbed his irritated eyes, exchanging brief eye contact intervals with mingyu as he spoke.

"i always get rough on myself during comebacks, so i guess i didn't notice how i was feeling until a few weeks ago when we had ours."

that explained so much, the prolonged sessions in the studio, the antisocial conduct, the sad lyrics.

jihoon took deep breaths in between clauses as mingyu urged for the older boy to take his time.

he wanted jihoon to be as authentic as he could so he would be able to understand how to help him.

mingyu actually processed that jihoon was opening up to _him_ , not the leader seungcheol, not even his best friend soonyoung.

jihoon clearly held a lot of trust in mingyu, and the tall boy knew within his heart on how important this conversation was for their friendship.

clearly jihoon wouldn't tell any of this information to just anyone, so mingyu felt honored in a sense.

"and because of all that stress- ya know- stupid feelings that i may have had before, like doubt or anger, seemed to get overbearing."

mingyu nodded, rubbing jihoon's back.

he knew how difficult it must've been for jihoon to speak up like this as the older boy had never been an open book.

mingyu was still, all the matter, amazed that jihoon would take the time to tell him this rather than someone else he was closer with.

mingyu was just a roommate, a rapper, a fool.

"so i haven't been able to sleep, and that's when my thoughts get out of control. my mind is like bringing up things i've repressed for so long because there's nothing else to think about. it's kinda like torment in a way, so i always went to the studio to try to focus on work instead. i figured this was only because of the tension due to the comeback, so i dealt with it for a while like i always do. it wasn't really until after the awards and everything that i noticed all this strain was going on longer than usual. i didn't want the members to worry, so i secluded myself even more for the sake of you guys not having to deal with me."

mingyu's chest tightened at jihoon's words.

it burnt him inside to finally hear what the older boy was going through, and how he never noticed until now.

there was so much pressure on the composer.

he was the reason seventeen practically had their career.

it was his job to make all the songs for all the albums; mingyu could empathize how burdensome that might be.

"and it's not like i just suddenly became upset now, if that's what you're thinking. my whole life, it's been hard for me dealing with my emotions and all that. i guess it's every time there's a big event or just a minor inconvenience that i let stress get the better of me. but since i've been with you guys i thought i hid it well enough. that's why i was shocked the other day to hear your concerns for me, because as much as i didn't want anyone to notice, a small part of me supposedly just wanted some closure. and that's that, i guess."

although jihoon rambled, it seemed as though he was beating around the bush more than giving direct answers, but mingyu knew it was better than nothing, and that this was a huge step for the older boy.

but now there was another concern irking mingyu.

"hyung, what about those lyrics?"


	12. Chapter 12

jihoon gulped.

he seemed to forget about that topic all together.

"right. those."

his voice trailed off, turning his head down from mingyu.

"well, i guess i've always written things down instead of verbally expressing myself. i don't know what you read of mine, but i'm sure you get the point that the message was that i wasn't feeling too good."

jihoon exhaled hard and lowered himself to rest his cheek back on mingyu's shoulder.

mingyu kept one of his hands on the small of jihoon's back, and brought up the other to sink his fingers into jihoon's black hair, gently massaging the back of the older boy's head.

"when did you start writing those lyrics?"

jihoon's body sunk further into the embrace.

"i've been writing those whenever i have something on my mind and can't really tell anyone. i was aware of the small chance they might be seen, so i tried to keep them as vague as possible. i've probably written hundreds over our career, but most of them are thrown out now. occasionally i might leave one around on accident, which is probably how you found them in the first place. my mind has been so cluttered lately that i know i've been disorganized with my papers. i don't blame you for being curious about it though, because i would've been the same."

jihoon shifted, snuggling up closer to mingyu.

the smaller boy was so cold against him, so mingyu took this opportunity to just hold him tighter.

it felt oddly nice to be alone with the older boy, as they'd never be able to have this moment together with any of the other members around.

jihoon would never reveal this kind of vulnerability in front of the others.

this was such a special moment, such a huge step for their friendship.

"after the comeback, when i kept going to the studio, i realized there wasn't anymore work to do. so that's why i wrote more of those lyrics, never with the intent to put them in a song, but instead as a way to kill time and use as an excuse to isolate myself more."

there was silence for a moment until jihoon took another deep breath and spoke up again in a small voice.

"i know you're still confused on what the meanings of those words are. i honestly don't remember much of them unless i see them again myself. i guess i just go into an absent state of mind when i write like that, which is why none of those lyrics are perfect."

 _but they are_ , mingyu thought.

as sad as the lyrics were, they were extremely poetic and touching.

mingyu thought jihoon's work was so effortlessly well-executed, and he couldn't see how on earth he could ever point out a flaw. 

"i don't know how else to explain myself. it's just so much to handle," jihoon sighed in defeat.

"it's okay, jihoonie-hyung. i'm proud of you for speaking up."

he felt jihoon's lips curve into a simper on his collar.

"if i may ask just one more question," mingyu delivered as jihoon sat up yet again now facing him still in his lap.

mingyu's hands trailed back down to hold jihoon by the waist.

"is this the first time you've told someone this? and why would you tell me?"

jihoon's cheeks, although still blotchy with faded tear stains, seemed to erupt with a slight pink.

"well i mean, yeah kinda. soonyoung has been asking me how i feel whenever he has the chance, but i brush him off most of the time. sometimes i don't even comprehend what i ramble about. so i don't think i revealed, much if anything, to anyone else."

so it was true, what soonyoung advised mingyu the night prior about jihoon's habit.

"and i felt the need to talk with you specifically, not only because you were the one who came to me directly about this, but also because i guess i've learned to trust you more. i know you have good intentions, and ever since we met you've been nothing but kind to me, even when i'm rude and selfish. you're a good person."

jihoon seemed shy, avoiding eye contact yet again.

but mingyu just smiled as the elder looked absolutely adorable.

"i'm not saying the other boys aren't, or soonyoung specifically for the matter. it's just i really appreciate how patient you've been, and how willing you were to hear me speak. i never thought of you as the attentive type to be honest, but i like this side of you as much as i do your foolish side. you've gotten so much more mature since i've been out of it. and you're gracious. you always think of the positive. as for the other boys, i know my stubbornness can irritate them, even if they don't acknowledge it, but that's okay too. with you, you don't care how mean or closed off i am, and i can tell because of your tolerance for me. you look past the majority of garbage that i say and think of the greater message of everything. i guess the most i could do is thank you for doing this for me, for speaking with me. i'm glad you understand, to say the least."

mingyu was touched, and grinned fondly at the older who was still biting back a shy smile himself.

the tall boy thought he was nothing more than jihoon's stupid roommate, so hearing those words warmed his heart.

mingyu cupped jihoon's face; as much as jihoon said he hated being babied, the way he melted at mingyu's touch said otherwise.

"who knew hyung could be so sweet?"

mingyu chuckled, squishing the smaller boy's soft cheeks, a common action he used to do pre-debut.

"shut up!"

jihoon giggled, playfully pushing mingyu's hands away rather than threatening to hit him like he used to.

the two snickered at the new light-hearted atmosphere.

jihoon's laugh was like a gift from god.

it had been so long since mingyu had seen a genuine smile on the older boy's face.

jihoon was happier now, and that was all that mattered.

and if mingyu had to keep being the fool he was for jihoon to stay happy, he'd be glad to do so.


	13. Chapter 13

after the whole conversation was over, afternoon arrived.

the boys were all getting ready to go out to a cafe, already under the assumption that jihoon was going to be in his studio yet again.

mingyu laughed at seungcheol choking on his water when jihoon said he would tag along.

talking things out with jihoon definitely put the older boy in an amazing mood, as he seemed to be glowing and more upbeat.

he was already more social and cooperative even, as when he and mingyu went back into the dorm to get dressed, he insisted for the younger boy to pick his outfit.

turns out all he really needed was someone to listen to him.

the thirteen boys then clumped together on the sidewalk inconspicuously on their way out, as it was a big hassle to have to take three cars somewhere such a short distance away.

it was pretty nice for a winter day, light frost coating the grass alongside the path, the sky a pale blue, the crisp scent of mint in the air.

jihoon stayed close to mingyu's side, as not only was the taller boy warm, but he also seemed compelled to due to their newfound trust.

he held onto mingyu's arm as they walked, his small steps quickening to catch up with mingyu's large strides.

mingyu wanted to curl up within himself and scream at how cute the elder looked.

he was in a large knit scarf, a fluffy parka layered upon one of his gucci shirts, white earmuffs, and fuzzy flat boots with no insoles. 

jihoon caught mingyu staring and looked up at him, his small nose and apples of his cheeks a shade of pink from the cold air.

the elder furrowed his eyebrows and pouted his lips.

"what're you doing?"

"looking at you."

"why?"

"because i like to."

the mild flirty comment caused jihoon to tuck his mouth beneath his scarf and grumble as mingyu simply chuckled.

for the remainder of the walk, mingyu told jihoon questionable dad jokes that made the older boy cringe but laugh all the while.

he must've been addicted to hearing jihoon's laugh; it was like music to his ears.

"well you two made up didn't you?" teased seungcheol from in front of them, holding jeonghan's hand as they strolled on.

jihoon, not releasing his hold on mingyu's arm, attempted to scoot behind the taller boy to shield his embarrassment.

mingyu would've had the need to stop and clutch his heart from jihoon's cuteness if it weren't for them pulling up to the cafe just then.

a cafe isn't exactly a place where you could have a thirteen-person table, so to avoid disturbing the employees to push together the few booths they had, the boys took up just a bunch of two person tables.

thankfully the place wasn't too popular, which minimized the chance of being bombarded by fans so the boys could relax and be themselves.

as they were choosing who to sit with, there was already no question that jihoon would be with mingyu.

when the boys did situate themselves, exchanging some chatter before a waitress would assist them, mingyu observed the others and their conduct.

seungcheol stared at jeonghan like there was no one else in the shop, all the while the latter just talked about his next haircut.

wonwoo was in a similar state, staring at soonyoung with attentive adoration as soonyoung went on stupidly about how wearing shorts in the winter was okay.

mingyu wondered if wonwoo and seungcheol knew how fond they looked while the boys in front of them just did the simplest or silliest of things.

mingyu wondered if he tended to do that as well with jihoon.

if so, he wouldn't blame himself.

jihoon was precious, even more now that he was happier.

mingyu wondered what emotions those boys were feeling, what they were thinking.

even if their thoughts were romantic or platonic, what could possibly be going through their minds that brought complete awe to their simple stares?

mingyu wondered if they were even thinking in those moments.

but his thoughts were soon shut up when he finally turned around to face jihoon across the small table from him.

with his shy posture and small eyes twinkling towards the younger boy, mingyu couldn't help but smile like the fool he was.

jihoon really was gorgeous.

mingyu didn't know why he didn't realize that until now.


	14. Chapter 14

it was during this time that mingyu took account of every little thing jihoon did.

from the cute way the older boy spoke with pouted lips, to the little double-blinks he did, to unconscious head nods.

mingyu also noticed that jihoon ordered tea rather than coffee, because- as much as he said he didn't- it was clear jihoon still believed the rumor that coffee stunts growth.

but mingyu didn't care how tall jihoon was, he loved jihoon's features as they were.

everything about jihoon was perfect.

"so what do you think about the weather lately?"

mingyu asked varieties of questions like this and started conversation topics just to hear jihoon talk.

jihoon hated his habit of rambling, but mingyu adored every bit of it.

"i actually like it. the cold means i get to stay inside more. and i do hope it snows. i love looking at the snow. it's beautiful."

 _you're more beautiful_ , mingyu bit back the urge to say.

"you wouldn't wanna go out and make snow angels with us?"

"there's a level of cold i like, and rolling around in ice and getting frostbite doesn't sound too fun anymore. but i wouldn't mind a walk in the park just to look around at it."

mingyu stored that information in his mind for later, now praying that it would snow soon.

just imagining a wholesome stroll in the snow with jihoon made his heart flutter.

mingyu was more giddy than usual since reconciling with the elder.

but that wasn't necessarily a bad thing.

the two continued on with a bunch of meaningless conversations with so many meaningful details within them.

jihoon's smile made his cheeks fill out, made his eyes squint adorably, and made warmth explode in mingyu's heart.

"hey guys," seungcheol called out to all the boys.

"since we're out already, i thought we could walk downtown. it should be dark soon because of daylight savings, and there are holiday lights still up on the main road about a mile away. that is if you wouldn't mind walking."

the boys seemed to agree to the idea of a short city stroll.

now the thought of seeing jihoon's squishy little face under the pretty golden lights of town made mingyu almost squeal.

he was so infatuated with the older boy, as he was with anything he had taken a huge liking to.

soon after, the boys exited the cafe, excited to sight see the sparkling lights in the city road.

the air got colder as the afternoon grew later.

jihoon, again from beside mingyu, shivered under his coat, unable to keep up with the taller boy's long strides as efficiently.

mingyu wasn't as affected by the climate due to his natural overabundance of warmth.

"jihoonie-hyung, you good?"

jihoon's scarf was pulled all the way up to his nose, his earmuffs snug on his head.

"it's cold as hell."

"i thought you liked the cold."

"yeah, i like it when i'm staying inside!"

jihoon whined, hugging his own torso.

mingyu chuckled, patting the smaller boy's head.

"this isn't funny you-"

before jihoon could use his playful profanities, mingyu stopped in front of him and perched to one knee, signalling the offer for a piggyback ride.

with no hesitation, jihoon climbed upon mingyu's back, clinging to him tight.

mingyu was always told he was so warm and comforting, and jihoon seemed to embrace that factor the most as he rested his head, his shivers dying down.

mingyu looked back at the older boy and saw that his eyes were shut and he was humming softly beneath his scarf.

when mingyu turned back to face the sidewalk, he couldn't take the fond smile off of his face.

he was so stupidly enamored by jihoon.

and it showed, as when mingyu caught the attention of wonwoo, the elder smiled while looking him and jihoon up and down.

but mingyu didn't care how idiotically giddy he looked.

because jihoon was the cause of this giddiness, and mingyu wouldn't want to have it any other way.


	15. Chapter 15

mingyu finally set jihoon down when they made it to central town.

the boys split up and walked in pairs, wonwoo going along alone to take photos with his new camera.

the string-lights in the small city were over streetlamps, trees, and telephone poles mostly.

they were all a sequence of gold, white, and periwinkle.

the bulbs were so vibrant that it would hurt one's eyes if fixated on them for too long.

it was quite crowded on the sidewalks, but the abundance of people definitely made the atmosphere warmer.

thankfully with so many people, it would be easier for seventeen to blend in and not attract the attention of fans.

still, in fear of losing him in the crowd, mingyu kept a secure arm around jihoon's shoulders and held him close to his side whenever they moved from sight to sight.

mingyu somehow felt obligated to protect jihoon; something inside compelled him to make sure the older boy was always secure.

but he could tell jihoon appreciated it, as whenever they seemed to pass by people, the smaller boy would instinctively drift closer to mingyu.

mingyu remembered how jihoon would avoid everyone but his members at last isac, so mingyu found this new cute habit of his endearing.

the two boys just strolled about gazing at the thousands of intricate light fixtures.

well, mingyu stared at jihoon more-so than the lights themselves.

he just couldn't help but be baffled as to how jihoon was standing out more than the bright twinkles that mingyu had grown up loving so much.

but he shook the thoughts away, aware that his absent-mindedness could distract him away from the direction they were walking.

"minggu," called jihoon's voice from beside him.

"yeah hyung?"

"can we go over there?"

the shorter boy pointed over to a less crowded section of the city walk.

in that area, mingyu could point out parents holding up their children on their shoulders to allow them to look closer at the large light configurations in a tall flocked tree.

"of course."

the spot wasn't that far away, and the two arrived in a matter of a minute.

"well, hyung, what do you wanna do?"

"isn't it obvious? look around."

mingyu took into account of the laughing children ranging from toddlers to adolescents being withheld in their family's arms, hoisted up to get a close view of some bubbled fairy-like structures in the tree.

"jihoonie-hyung, if you wanted to be carried, you could've just said-"

"just shush and help me. i've never been out here before, so i wanna see these cheap things."

as much as jihoon came across as a stone cold adult sometimes, he was truly a child at heart.

and it was never a problem for mingyu to carry him all the time, whether that being around the house or in public.

mingyu bent down, wrapping his long arms around jihoon's waist and lifted the smaller boy into the air.

this was no struggle for mingyu; he already felt himself becoming more and more of a sucker for the older boy and his antics.

"wow."

mingyu heard jihoon from above, the bundled up elder looking close to one of the lights.

"well i mean it's cool. just how do people have the time to set these up?"

jihoon continued examining the object in the tree while mingyu took account of some of the people staring at him and jihoon, perhaps because the two were adults in primarily a children's area.

as a response to that, mingyu simply rested his head against jihoon's back, squeezing his arms a bit more snug around the elder's waist.

jihoon giggled, patting mingyu's strong forearm.

"minggu, you can put me down now."

and mingyu did as told.

"sorry, you're really soft to hug, hyung."

jihoon buried his face in his scarf at mingyu's words; he always got so shy when it came to compliments, which is why mingyu wanted to shower him with them just to see his cute reactions.

the minute the two turned around, they were face-to-face with wonwoo, whose camera was held upright in his hands, indicating that he had taken a picture of them.

"hey," he spoke with a warm grin. "you guys look cute."

mingyu felt jihoon shuffle behind him, a frequent yet adorable habit of his whenever he got embarrassed.

wonwoo chuckled lightly, lowering his camera.

"come on, the others have already met back up over there."

"you didn't care to tell us that earlier?"

grumbled jihoon, following wonwoo.

"well, we were about to call you, until we saw you guys heading over here, and we didn't wanna interrupt whatever you guys had going on."

mingyu rubbed the nape of his neck.

he thought he was being real obvious lately, and he had to admit it to himself.

all the moments he's had with jihoon: the hugs, the chats, the emotional expressions, all of it meant something- it had to at least.

mingyu's mind whirred faster than frames in a movie.

jihoon walked a bit in front of mingyu now, tagging along behind wonwoo.

mingyu tried to know what this meant: the overwhelming feeling of responsibility over the older boy who he knew very well could take care of himself.

jihoon was a grown man, could obviously handle life on his own, but mingyu has never been so attached to something until now.

as good as mingyu was exceptional at discovering things, he certainly lacked the ability to process the meanings beyond the surface.

so other than the generic answer of trust and brotherhood, mingyu didn't really know the answer behind his copious affection for jihoon.


	16. Chapter 16

the next morning, mingyu woke up to a gentle shifting.

peeling open his hazy eyes, he saw jihoon sitting on the edge of his mattress, small hands lightly pressing on mingyu's broad chest.

"jihoon-hyung?"

"ah, now you're finally awake. i've been shoving you for like a minute now."

mingyu sat up, running a hand through his messy hair.

"why are you even up?"

"well, i wanted to talk to you. you know, before everyone wakes up and disturbs all the quiet."

jihoon then hopped into mingyu's bed, kneeling with fist fulls of mingyu's comforter in his grip.

"okay then. so what's up?" mingyu asked as he straightened his posture.

jihoon fixed his gaze on his hands, twiddling the duvet between his fingers.

"i guess i really just wanna thank you again. i had so much fun last night, and you've helped me feel a lot better."

jihoon looked up at mingyu for a brief moment, a shy smile on his face, his black eyes glistening in the early morning light in mingyu's direction.

and there it was again, the fireworks blowing up inside mingyu.

the younger boy was somewhat lost in orbit in jihoon's eyes before he took account of the long seconds of extended eye contact passing by.

mingyu blinked himself back into reality.

"oh yeah. no problem, hyung. you know i'd do anything to help."

"i really appreciate it, minggu."

jihoon flashed a bashful grin that would've sent mingyu into cardiac arrest if it weren't for his physical grip on holding himself together.

"well, go wake the others up. i'm gonna check the studio for a bit."

and thus the morning routine began normally like usual.

after breakfast, jeonghan brought up that him and seungcheol were going to get groceries, and were willing to drive anyone else who wanted to come with.

figuring there was nothing better to do, mingyu and soonyoung decided to tag along.

mingyu wondered if jihoon would want to come too, so he called him out of the studio to ask.

surprisingly, jihoon said yes, as he claimed he needed to buy some things for himself as well.

the day was slightly warmer than the afternoon prior, so jihoon threw on one of his gucci hoodies, joggers, and slides.

no matter what he wore, mingyu thought jihoon always looked adorable.

mingyu was feeling extra soft somehow- probably because of his small talk with jihoon this morning- and had to prevent himself from awing at the way jihoon's big jacket seemed to swallow him up.

but jihoon wore oversized clothes all the time and mingyu used to not give it a second thought; again, mingyu didn't know why he was noticing the unintentional cuteness of the elder just now.

the five boys crammed into the car, jihoon squished between soonyoung and mingyu in the back seat.

jeonghan and seungcheol from the front started talking to each other about what they needed to get, while the three boys in the back conversed about whatever funny topic was on their minds.

after mingyu cracked a pointless joke that had the whole car crying laughing, jihoon shifted closer to the taller boy, and rested his head on mingyu's shoulder to catch his breath.

mingyu, almost instinctively, wrapped an arm around jihoon, collecting his smiles along with the elder.

mingyu noticed out of the corner of his eye soonyoung looking at them both.

his expression wasn't very readable, a mix of a lackluster grin and wide surprised eyes on his face.

mingyu kind of felt bad, knowing how soonyoung was jihoon's best friend, and he seemed to be taking jihoon's time away from soonyoung lately.

but the minute mingyu felt jihoon nuzzle his head against his shoulder, placing his smaller hand atop of mingyu's thigh, the younger boy experienced those sparks again, completely forgetting about soonyoung.

his thoughts were cleared and he only focused the minimal movements of jihoon rubbing circles into his leg.

"aw, look at you two. so cute!" cooed jeonghan from the passenger seat.

"shut up!"

with jeonghan's comment, jihoon instantly got embarrassed again, pulling away from mingyu and leaning towards soonyoung as a response.

mingyu chuckled, but internally he was confused about jeonghan's exclamation.

he never made cheeky remarks like that when mingyu was close with other members, and same in jihoon's case.

mingyu felt dumb for not being able to put two and two together based on jeonghan's context, same with wonwoo's from the night before.

he just didn't understand what they were implying.


	17. Chapter 17

the time spent in the supermarket wasn't too special, and jeonghan dragged everyone around like a mother.

soonyoung was more focused on buying sweets than helping seungcheol find the actual things they needed.

mingyu assisted in scouring the aisles, while jeonghan let jihoon walk about by himself to find whatever he wanted to get.

mingyu had no idea where jihoon would go, perhaps towards the sweets with soonyoung.

it wasn't until mingyu turned to the cereal aisle to find jihoon, climbed up a shelf while reaching as high as he could in attempt to grab his favorite brand.

"who the hell thought it was a good idea to put this up here?"

jihoon muttered to himself as he failed to grab the box.

mingyu wanted to crack up laughing, but also help jihoon out.

"jihoonie-hyung?" mingyu called, stifling his laughter.

jihoon turned to him, his short fluffy hair shifting with the movement, falling gently over his forehead.

"oh it's you. perfect. can you help me?"

jihoon asked, hopping down from the short shelf.

the small boy used to be so stubborn when it came to needing assistance and he always used to say he could do everything himself.

but now that he was comfortable enough to even ask for help showed a good development in his personality.

"of course."

mingyu approached the shelf, reaching his arm up not even to full extension, and grabbed the cereal.

he handed jihoon the box with a stupid smile on his face.

"thanks," jihoon mumbled, holding the box to his chest as he walked down to aisle, most likely heading towards the drink aisle.

mingyu went back to jeonghan and seungcheol to finish gathering things before jihoon and soonyoung finally returned for checkout.

they then loaded the car with the dozens of bags.

mingyu thought they were going to head back home right then, but jeonghan and seungcheol needed to stop by the florist's shop across from the grocery store, as they said they were going to choose bouquets to give to their families as a belated new year's gift.

the five of them stepped into the fairly small shop, mingyu having no intentions to buy anything there, but perhaps browse.

and if he did buy some flowers, he thought he'd give them to jihoon, as he couldn't remove his eyes from the older boy who was scanning some roses.

jihoon seemed to like flowers; mingyu remembered how jihoon always talked about his favorites during pre-debut.

"mingyu, can i talk to you in private for a minute?"

a voice interrupted his thoughts.

mingyu turned around to find soonyoung there.

the taller boy was puzzled at what possibly could soonyoung need, but nonetheless he obliged, stepping outside with the elder.

"what's up, hyung?"

"nothing that important but, i couldn't help but wonder, what's going on between you and jihoonie?"

mingyu tilted his head in confusion.

"what do you mean 'what's going on?'"

"the other day, we saw you go into his studio while he was in there. he was crying, and then you guys left to go in your room."

mingyu's heart sunk at the memory; he hated seeing jihoon so torn, even the thought hurt.

"ever since, he's been glued to your side. he's not like that with anyone else, not even me anymore."

"what are you going on about, hyung?"

"what did you do that I didn't?"

soonyoung asked, taking mingyu aback.

"i'm his best friend, and he's never been as open and close with me as he has been with you, even though i've known him longer. you'd figure he'd trust me right?"

soonyoung paused, his tone softening as he unconsciously kicked at the cement.

"it's not that i'm jealous. and it's not your fault either. it's just, i thought i've tried so hard and done so much for him, and he always puts me to the side."

mingyu started to feel bad; soonyoung didn't deserve this.

"soonyoung-hyung, i'm not trying to take jihoon's time away from you. he loves you so much. you know he isn't good at voicing his emotions. i don't know why he's been so clingy to me. maybe because he's trying to build more trust in different people, and he already trusts you a lot, hyung. if you ever feel left out, tell him, because i know excluding you isn't his intention."

soonyoung nodded.

surprisingly, mingyu possessed a lot of wisdom for his young age, and although he didn't seem to utilize it most of the time, it didn't make him any less smart during moments like these.

"come on. believe me."

mingyu wrapped a caring arm around the older boy.

"i guess so. thanks, gyu."

after patching that conversation up, the two went back into the flower shop.

mingyu's eyes immediately found jihoon.

the older boy was talking, but not to jeonghan or seungcheol.

no, it was a male stranger to whom jihoon was sharing the conversation with.

jihoon always hated being disturbed by people he didn't know, but somehow the small boy seemed engaged and enlightened by this man's company.

this incredibly handsome man's company.


	18. Chapter 18

both soonyoung and mingyu looked at each other in confusion, as they both knew jihoon wasn't too keen on talking to strangers.

however the small boy was smiling during their conversation, and the man carried a devious fondness to his expression.

mingyu was just going to get jihoon when he saw seungcheol and jeonghan were already buying their things, however he was stopped in his tracks when he heard the end of their conversation.

"so, i think you're super cute. can i get your number?"

the man said in a rather suggestive tone that mingyu didn't think jihoon acknowledged.

that was the straw that broke the camel's back for mingyu.

obviously jihoon couldn't just give out his phone number due to company policy.

but mingyu was not going to allow some random person to take advantage of jihoon's attention span like that.

mingyu immediately stepped up beside jihoon, startling the smaller boy with his sudden presence.

mingyu shot a glare down to this man, jihoon's wide eyes looking toward the door where soonyoung, seungcheol, and jeonghan were about to head out.

"he was just leaving actually," mingyu emphasized sternly, wrapping and arm around jihoon whose natural instinct was to gravitate closer to mingyu's side.

the two then made their way out, following the other three in the parking lot.

"what did you do that for?"

jihoon said with annoyance in his voice, but ironically refused to tear himself away from mingyu's side.

"i didn't like what that guy was saying to you."

"it was just compliments. he was being kind."

"he had bad intentions. i could tell."

mingyu spoke abruptly which got the attention of soonyoung who looked over to the two boys.

mingyu was not jealous, but rather protective.

he guessed he did kind of forget that jihoon was a grown man and could handle these situations himself.

"i was trying to be more social, like you wanted."

jihoon spoke in a small voice.

"strangers aren't right for you."

mingyu blurted out, unaware that his tone may come off as possessive.

he never had been so defensive over anything in his life.

"aw, is minggu jealous?"

jihoon teased playfully, which was a surprise as his usual snarky comments were out of disdain or disgust.

he was using the same cheeky tone that jeonghan did earlier that day.

mingyu's face heated up and jihoon giggled as the five boys began to climb into the car.

"haha, it's okay.. i get what you mean. now that i think about it, it was a bit weird for me to allow some random person speak to me like that without cringing."

mingyu was relieved that jihoon didn't interpret his flustered behavior in a bad way.

"but i'm also an adult, ggu. i can speak for myself. but thanks for thinking of me anyways."

"i've never heard you sound so sweet before, jihoonie. why don't you ever talk to me like that?"

intervened seungcheol as he drove, making all the boys laugh.

mingyu sunk against the window as jihoon started talking with soonyoung.

mingyu's mind and heart were racing at the same rapid pace.

his head was clouded with confusion.

how did this protective habit over jihoon suddenly come to be?

but his heart soared when he looked to jihoon beside him.

jihoon had the most elegant of features, and the sweetest wholesome expression when he laughed.

his chubby cheeks complimented his grin, and his eyes turned into little smiles themselves.

mingyu mentally slapped himself when realizing he has taken a much more sincere attraction to jihoon that he had with anything else before.

mingyu's chest tightened and butterflies filled his stomach.

an unconscious smile came to his face at the recollection of all his recent memories with jihoon.

mingyu remained puzzled in the back of his mind over the mix of emotions built up inside him, but he'd rather continue to smile stupidly to himself over his fondness for jihoon.


	19. Chapter 19

when the boys arrived back home, they put away all the groceries and went about their usual daily life.

jihoon took his tea and cereal and went straight into the in-house studio.

it seemed normal of him to do, but now that the band's comeback was over and jihoon supposedly had stopped writing those sad lyrics, mingyu had no idea what jihoon could be doing in there.

he would've told the boys if he was working on a solo song, as everyone would have been overwhelmingly kind in support, but he didn't say anything.

soonyoung inferred that jihoon went in there for alone time, either to think or just listen to music to clear his head.

but mingyu didn't know what jihoon could possibly be thinking about; didn't he vent everything to mingyu already?

a few hours went by and jihoon still didn't come out of the studio.

mingyu wanted to check on him, but figured he had been too clingy with the older boy lately, and understood if jihoon wanted time to himself.

it suddenly felt odd for mingyu to be in the living room without jihoon's presence beside him.

he thought he must've been getting too attached, which was a tendency of his with the boys.

it wasn't until mingyu's phone had delivered a notification that caught the tall boy's attention.

a text from jihoon.

jihoon rarely ever kept contact with the boys via phone, and was even less likely to text first unless it was the groupchat.

**can you come to the studio? i'm lonely.**

**_why don't you come out here then?_ **

**don't really wanna be crowded right now. plus the others are loud. i just wanted to chill.**

**_are you sure? wouldn't you prefer soonyoung or something?_ **

**shut up idiot and get in here before i change my mind.**

without hesitation mingyu got off the couch and went to the studio.

normally it was soonyoung that always accompanied jihoon in there, but mingyu didn't give it a second thought as to why jihoon wanted his company instead.

he slowly opened the door, hearing the sound of a smooth low-fi instrumental booming through the speakers.

mingyu stepped in to find jihoon resting his head back against his seat, his hand in the open box of cereal, foot tapping to the beat of the music.

"ah, you're here."

the older boy spoke, turning down the music.

mingyu pulled a seat up next to jihoon.

"what's up?"

"to be honest, i don't know. i was kinda bored and wanted someone with me."

"so you chose me over the quiet people like jeonghan-hyung or minghao?"

"well, yeah. even if you're loud and annoying sometimes, i don't know if this sounds stupid but i kinda prefer your company over the others right now."

jihoon spoke softly, putting the box of cereal to the side of his desk.

"why's that, hyung?"

jihoon shrugged, rolling his chair closer to mingyu.

"we've been a lot closer lately, and you know," his voice trailed off.

"know what?"

"ah, forget about it."

jihoon covered his face with the long sleeves of his sweatshirt, his ears a flashing shade of pink.

"hyung, come on. tell me what you wanna say."

"it doesn't make sense. plus i sound cheesy."

the older retaliated, mingyu chuckling as a response.

jihoon removed his sleeves from his face and looked down.

"i guess, to put it as this, you're cooler lately. i used to think you were just annoying and tall. but now, i know that you're annoying and tall and caring."

mingyu loved the back-handed compliment.

"that's very nice of you to say, hyung. i think you're a sweetheart too."

"don't call me that."

mingyu laughed at jihoon's pout.

"but it's true! you're a cute little sweetie at heart and we all know it."

"ugh, maybe i should've called soonyoung in here instead of you."

jihoon grumbled, visibly flustered at mingyu's comments.

"you wait here. i'm gonna get more tea."

so jihoon left, leaving mingyu alone in the studio.

but the 'curious george' inside mingyu couldn't handle just being patient in this moment.

he never forgot about jihoon's lyrics.

there's no way that he just gave up writing them since his talk with mingyu.

for someone that has so many thoughts, like soonyoung said, it's not possible that jihoon wouldn't write something down.

but mingyu couldn't believe how easy it was to find something with an accidental push of jihoon's keyboard.

"i knew it," mingyu muttered to himself as a piece of paper covered in jihoon's writing came into view.

he knew it wouldn't be long before jihoon would come back, so he quickly skimmed over the words, and told himself he'd think about it later.

the writing was definitely recent as the graphite smudged beneath his fingertips.

he wondered if this is why jihoon wanted alone time.

to write.

this piece was rather long, and looked like it took more thought into writing it rather than just something off the top of jihoon's head.

_starting early in the morning  
i awkwardly  
take out a pen and a paper  
and write down the words i had deeply swallowed_

_my handwriting isn't pretty  
please don't be disappointed  
please let it go if I suck _

_worrying all night about my bad handwriting  
which is about as bad as how i express my feelings  
i try to sincerely express myself but i can't get it out  
i try to wrap my head around this all night  
but i can't deliver my feelings _

_there are still  
so many things  
i ended up not able to tell you  
i open my arms  
and swear to the sky  
i won't leave you and run away_

_*lyrics: Love Letter- Seventeen*_


	20. Chapter 20

it was just then that jihoon came back in with his tea, and mingyu somehow managed to hide all evidence that he found the lyrics a split second before the older boy entered the room.

"are the others doing anything out there?"

mingyu asked casually as jihoon shut the door.

"no. just being obnoxious. as usual. so what do you wanna do?"

jihoon said, taking a seat.

mingyu watched as jihoon's small hands skimmed beneath the keyboard where he had left those lyrics, the older boy exhaling in relief when the paper remained untouched, or so he thought.

"i take it you don't wanna be near the others."

"yeah, i just kinda want everything to be quieter right now. and they're sometimes so chaotic that i can hear them through the dorm. it's nicer in here, so i like it."

that's when mingyu came up with an idea, an activity him and the rap line used to do back in the debut days.

if jihoon wanted to be quiet and comfortable but not leave the studio, mingyu would make the room a cozy place for jihoon to be happy with.

"i'll be back. i got an idea."

mingyu exited the studio momentarily as he went towards his and jihoon's dorm.

the other boys had indeed been very loud, but there's nothing to blame of the eleven energetic individuals crammed into one home in the middle of the afternoon.

mingyu stripped the blankets and pillows off of his and jihoon's beds, knowing the older boy would force him to make his bed later after, but mingyu didn't care.

he didn't seem to catch much attention from the others as he headed back, which was odd as who wouldn't look at clumsy giant mingyu stumbling around the house with piles of bedding in his arms?

jihoon's eyes widened as the tall boy entered the room.

"now what are you doing? you know you're gonna remake my bed after this, right?"

mingyu was well aware and just chuckled, walking towards the empty side of jihoon's studio and started building a little nest on the open space on the floor.

"i just figured," said mingyu as he shuffled with the covers, "that since it's quiet in here, you'd wanna be more comfortable than in those office chairs 24/7. plus this couch is as stiff as a rock."

it didn't take long to finish maneuvering the things into a thick nest-like shape on the floor.

"come over here, jihoonie-hyung."

and with no hesitation, jihoon stood up from his chair and crawled down atop of the blankets.

immediately, he pressed his face into a pillow, curling his toes into the soft material.

mingyu chuckled, turning up jihoon's soothing music before joining the older boy laying down on his side.

mingyu was honestly surprised when jihoon shuffled himself over and brought his back against mingyu's stomach without saying anything.

jihoon always said how much he hated a lot of physical contact with the boys, but either something spontaneously changed, or that whole concept was just a lie.

"minggu," he mumbled, snuggling against the taller boy's warm body.

"so much for hating skinship, hyung."

"you know i just said that for the cameras right? and so soonyoung doesn't bug me all the time?"

"trust me, by now i figured."

the two boys chuckled.

"now hold me, you idiot."

"thanks for the compliment."

"always."

mingyu wrapped his muscular arms around jihoon's frame.

if someone asked mingyu a month ago if he'd ever do this with jihoon, the answer would be absolutely most definitely no.

mingyu had never felt so cozy; the warm small boy in his embrace, the blankets and pillows so incredibly soft, the low-fi music cooling the atmosphere.

mingyu hoped jihoon couldn't hear his racing heartbeat from how close they were.

and although his mind was rushing again, the thing to appear in his head again were jihoon's lyrics.

who were they addressed to?

what was the meaning behind them?

what was jihoon feeling now?

a small part inside mingyu's heart just hoped jihoon was feeling the same rush of emotions that he had.

even though he didn't understand what these emotions were.

however he hushed his thoughts, as he wanted to embrace this moment with jihoon, just the two of them, nothing to interrupt the atmosphere.


	21. Chapter 21

mingyu had no idea how much time had passed before he woke up.

the music still droned on quietly, the blankets still in tact.

he was surprised no one interrupted him and jihoon during this time, as usually at least one of the members would come knocking at the studio throughout the day.

speaking of jihoon, he had since turned around to lay face-to-face with mingyu.

and mingyu's heart raced in spirals.

the older boy's facial features were even more delicate and beautiful when he was sleeping.

his long brown eyelashes rested gently from his eye lids, his cheeks full and squishy, his small pink lips slightly parted as he breathed slowly.

his skin looked so soft and velvety under the iridescent purple undertones from the studio lights.

the longer mingyu studied jihoon's exquisite appearance, the more he felt himself draw closer to the smaller boy.

mingyu bit his lip when he realized he was practically nose to nose with jihoon.

an urge residing within him told him to keep shifting forward, to scan each and every detail of his pretty little face as if he were under a microscope.

after all, jihoon was asleep, no one else was there to disturb the peace.

his eyes trailed down yet again to jihoon's kitten lips, wondering what innocent acts of affection he could get away with while jihoon was asleep.

mingyu slapped himself mentally, not knowing why on earth he'd ever think of _kissing_ jihoon.

the smaller boy was just his friend, his roommate, his band member, nothing else.

mingyu knew his feelings had been unusual lately, and jihoon was definitely the reason for that.

but for some reason mingyu just felt so compelled to risk his chances while he had the opportunity.

_he's asleep, it's okay. this is just an experiment._

mingyu told himself.

he thought he didn't have crushes- or whatever these feelings were called- on boys, let alone on jihoon, as he didn't seem him as anything more than a companion.

but that one itching thought inside him told him what if?

what if this action was the key to discovering his true feelings?

what if these sparks were just from mingyu being nervous or erratic?

what if the loving lyrics jihoon wrote somehow correlated with the recent events of him and mingyu?

of course that last one was obviously not the case, as mingyu always overthought everything.

crushes were such child-like things, and jihoon was too mature to be dealing with that from mingyu.

jihoon wasn't a very heavy sleeper, so mingyu would have to be quick if he was actually going to do this.

mingyu established a whole plan in his head if jihoon awoke spontaneously; he was treating this like a life-or-death situation.

his heart was pounding loud and fast, his mind screaming at him to get it over with and maybe he'd reach a consensus to himself and his feelings later.

so slowly and carefully, mingyu tilted his head the slightest bit to get a better angle as he leaned in towards jihoon.

his hand came up by the back of jihoon's head, but hovered there, knowing if he were to touch him anywhere he'd most probably wake up, as mingyu was quite clumsy and heavy-handed.

it came to the point where mingyu could feel jihoon's subdued breathing tickle his lips, and he froze.

if jihoon woke up, mingyu's life would be over.

he could picture it in his head.

jihoon would wake up, scold him, push him away, never think of him the same again.

but mingyu couldn't stop himself now, he prepared himself so much for this.

after all, it should only take but a short second.

mingyu fluttered his eyes shut as he closed the gap between him and jihoon.

all sounds became muted, any surrounding presences besides the smaller boy and him were ignored.

his lips pressed ever so slightly to jihoon's and mingyu lingered there for a moment.

although it seemed nothing more than a brush of lips, fireworks shot off in mingyu's soul, and he didn't want to move.

but the reasonable side of mingyu came into effect, immediately pulling himself away from jihoon.

he had to cover his mouth with his hand to silence his anxious breathing, his lips tingling beneath his palm.

he waited in silence for a reaction from jihoon, but the older boy didn't move.

he was still asleep.

relief washed over mingyu as he laid back down, feeling his pulse quicken.

he couldn't believe he just did that, but based on how he was feeling after that meager kiss, mingyu finally understood what some of his emotions meant.


	22. Chapter 22

jihoon woke up about a half hour later.

mingyu was very much so awake at this point, but pretended to be asleep for jihoon's sake.

he felt the smaller boy sit up and he quickly squinted his eyes open to catch a glimpse of him.

mingyu never forgot how cute sleepy jihoon was.

the older scrunched his nose like a bunny as he stretched, ran his fingers through his frizzy hair, blinked his heavy eyes open slowly.

mingyu shut his eyes again, awaiting jihoon's action of waking him up eagerly.

but there was a sudden silence, like jihoon stopped moving.

he must've been checking the time.

_but what if?_

mingyu's mind pestered.

mingyu's mind whirred at the the possibility of jihoon looking at the taller boy with as much admiration as mingyu had earlier for him; the truth of this thought was just concealed through mingyu's closed eyes.

the quietness prolonged, and mingyu's heart raced for the dozenth time that day.

mingyu wanted to open his eyes so badly just to get the chance to witness jihoon looking over him.

how he'd pout out of habit, his eyes would twinkle, his full cheeks would be extra puffy.

but mingyu remained patient, keeping his eyes shut as he waited for jihoon to shake him awake.

not soon after, he felt two small hands on his shoulders gently pushing.

mingyu opened his eyes to be met with jihoon above him, the older boy's expression even cuter than he expected.

jihoon was always so captivating.

"hi minggu."

the older boy pursed his lips into a shy grin, his round cheeks complimenting his smiley eyes.

"hi hyung."

mingyu sat up, surprised when jihoon kept a hand on the younger boy's leg.

"do you know what time it is? it feels like we've been in here forever."

jihoon mumbled, rubbing his eye with his fist.

mingyu couldn't remove the smile off his face; he always got so stupidly giddy whenever jihoon was with him, especially this close.

"it must be late 'cause the none of the other boys seemed to come in here and check on us."

mingyu stood up and grabbed his phone off of jihoon's desk.

it was midnight.

"well now what are we supposed to do? i'm not tired anymore."

jihoon groaned, walking up beside mingyu.

"it's not like we've had the most consistent sleeping schedules anyways. we can pull an all-nighter."

the two exited the studio, finding the living room empty; all the other boys must've been asleep.

"but haven't you spent enough time with me? i'm sure i'm not the most entertaining person to stay up with."

little did jihoon know, he was the light right now in mingyu's life.

"hyung i actually can't believe you've bothered to stay with me. i don't think you know that you're more fun than you think."

jihoon looked at the ground, clearly bashful from mingyu's positive comments.

"shut up."

"no. i'll keep complimenting you."

"why?" 

jihoon asked, shying away even more from mingyu's gaze.

"because i like to see you smile. you're cute."

mingyu surprised himself with how direct he was.

jihoon stammered, unable to make a snarky comeback to mingyu's comment.

"you're teasing me."

"i'm not, i swear." 

mingyu genuinely spoke.

"well you always used to."

"i've grown up, hyung."

"yeah, barely," the older scoffed playfully.

jihoon looked mingyu up and down, making eye contact for a brief second before turning his head back to the floor.

but in that short moment, mingyu got to analyze jihoon's face even through the night.

a red tinted blush was across his nose, and he was biting the inside of his cheek, his dark eyes glittering.

"you really think that? like not in a mean way?"

jihoon asked quietly, keeping his gaze away from the taller boy.

this was the first time he was actually acknowledging one of mingyu's compliments to heart.

mingyu's pulse picked up yet again; jihoon was making him feel so many things to the point where it was overwhelming.

just the simplest of jihoon's actions made mingyu want to squeal in delight.

"yes. of course."

"you're just saying that. you're joking, aren't you?"

"why would i do that, hyung?" 

mingyu moved closer to the short boy, cocking his head.

"because people do all the time. you know this already."

the two now sat on the couch, jihoon still refusing to meet eyes again.

mingyu felt sympathy for the older boy; he knew that his physical appearance was an insecurity of his that he's voiced many times before.

"well in that case, i think you are beautiful."

jihoon curled into himself; his shy actions were so precious.

"you mean that for real? like you're not just pulling my leg here?"

mingyu smiled wide and genuine, alacrity projecting off of him.

"how could i not? you never really like accepting compliments from all the others. someone has to tell you."

jihoon was speechless, jaw dropped and cheeks a deeper red.

mingyu never came across as the most complimentary person, but he was actually really considerate and kind.

"umm," jihoon stuttered before giggling to himself, "ah, thank you."

"anything to make you happy, hyung."

"stop. you're being too nice. it's nasty."

but mingyu could tell jihoon loved every word that he said based off of his reactions.

it was like nobody had ever been so honest with jihoon in his entire life.

and mingyu was slowly starting to pour his feelings out, hoping to be entirely open when he felt jihoon and him had grown close enough.

he hoped a day would come where he'd be able to, at least.


	23. Chapter 23

"so yeah, and that's why i don't like doing aegyo anymore."

jihoon concluded, biting into another cookie.

it was now around 3 in the morning, and the boys were probably on their 50th conversation topic of the night. 

they had gathered a bunch of snacks and were on the couch together, knowing that their rustling could easily wake up one of the others, but frankly they didn't care.

they were too busy enticed within each other's company.

"you're the best at it though." 

mingyu replied while opening his second juice for the evening.

"i'll consider, only if all these damn MCs stop treating me like a kid."

jihoon then pulled up his phone.

"it's only 3:00, are you kidding me? i'm never get my sleeping schedule back together at this point."

that's when jihoon looked like he came upon a revelation in his head, setting his phone down and placing the box of cookies on the ground.

"that reminded me," the older boy spoke softer, scooting closer to mingyu.

"i had this weird dream when we were in the studio. you were in it."

mingyu cocked his head; he always had a passion for listening to fantastical events, whether real or imagined.

those stories gave mingyu clues as to what the storyteller had been thinking about, or what had been going on in their life.

"it seemed so real, but i knew it couldn't be. i remember it so vividly."

"well, tell me hyung. i'm interested. maybe this can help pass time."

so jihoon began, setting the scene of his dream.

"it was just in the studio. almost a literal déjà vu of what we did together, you know laying in those blankets on the floor. and i fell asleep in the dream. i knew i was asleep in reality, but for some reason i had vision, not complete darkness like actual sleep. i couldn't hear anything. and i saw you, we were face to face. time was super fast like a time lapse and then froze and you, umm-"

jihoon paused for a bit before speaking in a smaller voice.

"in the dream, you kinda kissed me."

mingyu's stomach dropped.

that was no dream.

"which i thought was super weird. but when i woke up for real, i saw that you were still asleep, so i just thought my mind was playing tricks on me. i don't know why i even thought of that, but i had to tell you 'cause it was so crazy."

mingyu swallowed, trying to maintain a neutral facial expression.

"yeah, that's a little weird. i don't know why you'd think of that."

mingyu's mind was exploding.

was jihoon awake during the kiss and was in such disbelief that he thought it was a dream?

every event he described was the exact time and place mingyu kissed him when he was asleep.

so mingyu used his absolute best acting skills in attempt to convince jihoon that it was just a mere thought and that he wasn't flustered about it whatsoever. 

"i know it's odd, but the reason i brought it up is because, well, it just seemed so realistic, like i could really almost see and feel everything going on. maybe i was having a lucid dream. have you ever had one? where you are like still conscious in your sleep?"

mingyu wanted to curl into a ball right then and there; he prayed that jihoon kept the thought that it was all a dream.

"no i haven't."

"but something's still off. i can't put my finger on it."

jihoon studied mingyu, his expression confused.

the older boy pursed his lips for a moment, looking at his hands.

"minggu?"

the smaller boy straightened his posture, keeping his eyes down.

"i know that wasn't a dream."


	24. Chapter 24

mingyu's heart was thumping out of his chest, audible through the silence in the atmosphere.

"jihoonie-hyung, i-"

"i'm not stupid."

the older boy cut him off.

"you don't remember that i'm a light sleeper? the minute you started shifting around, i knew something was up."

mingyu's breath caught in his throat. 

he had no idea how to explain himself; for the first time, he didn't have a backup plan.

"why did you kiss me? isn’t that weird?"

jihoon's voice became less confrontational and more shy, trailing off to the point where mingyu could barely hear the end of his question.

mingyu stuttered on his lack of words.

"i, because, umm-"

the more the air grew dense, the more mingyu noticed jihoon getting more visibly flustered.

the older boy's cheeks were beet red, his small hands tightening on the collar of his hoodie.

"you don’t make sense."

jihoon spoke, exasperated.

mingyu was confused, but jihoon just seemed to get more and more demure.

he never thought he had such an affect on the smaller boy.

"i don't understand-"

"do you know how long i've tried to ignore thinking like this?"

jihoon slightly raised his voice from its previously quieter tone, taking mingyu aback.

"hyung, what?"

jihoon clearly didn't know how to gesture what he was feeling with his hands, so he balled them up in his shirt.

"you've made me so crazy lately."

the older was obviously confused, and he seemed to curl within himself.

"gyu, you should know i don't know how to feel about these kinda things.”

jihoon retorted vaguely.

“do you like me or something? i don’t get what you were trying to do.”

jihoon seemed frustrated at himself.

he didn't understand?

mingyu could not two and two together on what the older boy was going on about.

he clearly had some feelings- whatever those feelings may have been- but didn't know how to express it, as this instance was very sudden.

mingyu began to question, did he love jihoon?

did he love him in a way that wasn't brotherly?

the tall boy had never recollected that emotion prior to being with jihoon, and now hearing the older attempt expressing himself sent explosions up in mingyu's heart.

"jihoon, what are you saying? do you-"

"just shh. i can't say what i want to think."

silence fell upon the two boys.

jihoon shivered, speaking up once more, now in a much quieter tone.

"you probably just kissed me as an experiment or something, to see if you liked boys, isn't that it? i'm not gonna judge you if you like boys, but why me?"

that was pretty much it, mingyu had to admit to himself.

but what jihoon had wrong is that mingyu didn't kiss him to see if he liked boys in general, but to see if he truly felt something for jihoon.

he wouldn't have kissed any boy like that for no reason.

but that isn't disregarding the developing feelings he's had for the older beforehand.

jihoon shook his head in disbelief.

"look mingyu, i like you, but i don't know how to feel about this. i think we both need time to think about things."

but before mingyu could open his mouth to speak, jihoon stood up and went straight into the small studio without another word, ending their conversation right there.

mingyu remained frozen, mind absolutely blank on everything that just took place.


	25. Chapter 25

"what's going on out here?"

awoke seungcheol, stepping into the living room in his pajamas, rubbing his eyes in drowsiness.

"mingyu?" he groaned.

mingyu remained frozen on the couch, mind still whirring on everything that just occurred.

"uh, it's 3 something. what're you doing up?"

mingyu stared into the darkness of the house, questions and unspoken gestures swarming his thoughts.

did jihoon hate mingyu now?

is it mingyu's fault for jihoon leaving?

it took him a fair moment to acknowledge seungcheol's presence.

"oh, hyung. sorry, i just zoned out."

"yeah, i could tell. anyways, why are you out here at this time? wasn't jihoonie with you? i thought i heard him too."

guilt swallowed mingyu as his eyes turned to the locked studio. 

jihoon was in there, either pouring out his feelings in lyrics, or passed out in his office chair.

he still didn't get why jihoon could never consider the thought of love.

mingyu had never been so confused over a simple emotion.

but then again, jihoon did say he didn't understand why mingyu did what he did, and whenever jihoon didn't understand something, he frustrated himself.

maybe his feelings were built up for too long, and when they were being conveyed in reality, he got scared.

that's it.

jihoon was scared of these emotions.

it explained so much.

the behavior, the breakdowns, the isolation, the lyrics.

speaking of the lyrics, those recent loving words that mingyu had found in the studio, was it possible that jihoon wrote those in thought of a certain someone?

the older boy straight up told mingyu that he liked him, but definitely not in the way mingyu felt.

for once in his life, mingyu felt dumb yet not at the same time, trying to piece things together while still processing that jihoon practically just rejected him.

now he had to figure out how to bring those connections into the real world.

it took a moment for mingyu to click back into reality when he heard seungcheol's voice again.

"did something happen between you two?"

mingyu swallowed, not saying anything.

it wasn't that he didn't want to respond, it was just he didn't know how to.

he imagined jihoon must've been in this state many times, and mingyu was finally experiencing a loss of words as well.

"i'll take that as a yes. he's in the studio again, isn't he?"

mingyu nodded in reply.

seungcheol sighed, walking over toward the studio door.

"jihoonie. it's cheol. are you awake?"

mingyu heard no response from beyond the door, but based off on seungcheol's expression, he knew jihoon just brushed him off.

seungcheol knew there was no disputing with jihoon, as the small boy was quite emotionally closed off to everyone apart from mingyu.

"he's not answering. maybe he fell asleep in there again. i'm not surprised. kind of a let down though. i thought he was opening up more."

as if guilt wasn't enveloping mingyu enough, the realization that the others had been affected by jihoon's change in character had made mingyu feel accountable for jihoon's absence. 

he thought talking sense into the smaller boy the first time was hard, but he could just predict that this time around was going to be a different journey.


	26. Chapter 26

the morning progressed a lot slower without jihoon's company.

mingyu got drowsier by the minute, but knew he couldn't fall asleep yet, as he had a potential chance today to talk to the older boy about what happened.

as the others started waking up, one of them here and there would ask where jihoon was, and it was no surprise to them when they heard that he was in the studio.

that studio held so many memories yet so many secrets.

the boys first ignored jihoon's absence, taking it that he was just working again.

but mingyu knew the truth.

so when soonyoung knocked on the studio door asking jihoon if he was coming out for breakfast and was denied an answer, it was evident he knew something was up.

soonyoung trudged back to the kitchen, and mingyu was on his phone in the living room.

mingyu didn't want the boys to put him at fault for something he couldn't control.

well, he technically could; he didn't _have_ to kiss jihoon that night.

he didn't mean to weird jihoon out.

mingyu couldn't help himself from overhearing the conversation that took place in the other room.

"jihoon's locked up in the studio again. do you guys think he's working or purposely hiding from us this time?"

soonyoung asked.

"well, he was with mingyu in there last night, right? you'd figure they'd be out here right now together. after all, jihoon had been so happy with him lately."

wonwoo added.

seungcheol, who had the most context of the situation, spoke up. 

"well when woke up really early this morning, i definitely heard jihoon's voice. but when i came out of my room, jihoon wasn't there, but mingyu was. so i tried talking to gyu. he wouldn't really say much. maybe they got in a fight."

seungcheol wasn't necessarily wrong, it was just that he didn't know all the details, the specifics.

"that's unfortunate. jihoonie was being really cool and open lately. it looks like mingyu was the reason for that after all. i hope he's okay."

joshua added.

for a conversation involving jihoon, soonyoung didn't seem to be talking much, which was unusual as he was his best friend.

mingyu recalled the discussion he and soonyoung had outside the florist's shop; mingyu wondered if soonyoung was still a bit bent out of shape regarding everything from then.

mingyu heard footsteps leaving the kitchen, and watched as all the boys spectated from afar as soonyoung approached the studio door.

soonyoung knocked yet again, trying to beckon jihoon out.

"jihoon, it's soonyoung. are you good?"

there was a moment of silence before he obviously received a reply that mingyu couldn't hear.

"did something happen with mingyu?"

at this point, mingyu had risen from the couch and was standing behind all the boys, watching the event take place.

there was an even thicker tension in the room.

jihoon must've said something inaudible from the other side due to soonyoung's disappointed reaction.

all the boys' attention slowly started turning to mingyu.

soonyoung met eyes with the tall boy, a look of anger and confusion on his face.

"what happened? what did you do?"

soonyoung asked, walking around the boys and approaching mingyu.

mingyu swallowed, trying to find the words to say.

"he's not in there without reason. i know damn well he isn't working on anything. so what did you do to him?"

"soonyoung-hyung, just-"

"just nothing!"

soonyoung suddenly fumed.

"i'm sick of your sweet little excuses for everything. jihoon is my best friend, and i was so glad to see him becoming a happier person. and as much as it bothered me to know that i wasn't the cause of it, i was still glad that he was finally being open with us. i already talked with you how i felt about this. i put so much trust in you to take care of him, to make sure he was okay, because as much as i tried, i couldn't. he's never liked any of us as much as much as you. i know you would never let him get down on himself since your guys' first talk. so obviously it's not on him. now what did you do?"

soonyoung was obviously aggravated; mingyu was aware at how much passion soonyoung held for the latter.

he couldn't blame him honestly.

mingyu thought he should've been quicker on his feet this morning to talk to jihoon instead of remaining lost in his thoughts and letting the smaller boy leave like that.

but apparently, soonyoung's frustration made him more impatient than usual, and mingyu was thrown back into the importance of reality when he was shoved against the wall.

there was a big commotion, wonwoo and chan pulling soonyoung away from mingyu.

the others were talking up a storm at the action, and jeonghan was trying to get everyone to calm down.

this wasn't the first time there was an altercation between two members, in fact fights and arguments were quite frequent in the seventeen household, so mingyu didn't mind it too much.

the uproar in the house was almost as chaotic as the thoughts going through mingyu's head.

but everything seemed silenced when subconsciously all the boys turned to the studio door.

standing there with a confused expression was in fact jihoon, who had appeared to have witnessed everything.


	27. Chapter 27

"what is going on here?"

spoke jihoon, his eyes staring cold into every single boy around him.

"i can't even work in peace, let alone think without hearing you guys through the door." 

silence fell in the air once again, the atmosphere putting weight on everyone's shoulders.

"soonyoung, come with me right now."

the boys moved away from soonyoung as jihoon came up to him and took him by the arm.

but as much as jihoon looked aggravated, his tone was very gentle, implying that he was either going to lovingly console his best friend, or was just preparing to scold him.

"and if you were wondering, mingyu, i'll speak with you later." 

he addressed in a small voice, keeping his eyes on soonyoung.

jihoon guided soonyoung into the studio as all the boys went about the house, proceeding with their usual tasks.

mingyu felt so awful.

he didn't think kissing jihoon had such repercussions.

upsetting soonyoung, startling jihoon, even confusing all the boys.

it seemed like everything mingyu did was bewilder himself these days.

the tall boy went into his bedroom, collapsing onto his bed.

he was so drained.

dealing with jihoon's emotions, his emotions, it was all so much.

he looked to jihoon's vacant bed, his covers and pillows still on the floor in the studio.

something caught mingyu's eye, a texture by the corner of the fitted sheet.

mingyu inferred the tag got caught up in there somehow, and it would bug him all afternoon if he didn't straighten it out.

jihoon never really made his bed correctly anyways.

mingyu arose to his feet, stepping slowly towards the older boy's mattress.

even if jihoon would avoid him again, he'd still go out of his way to try to make him happy.

he knew of jihoon's feelings, understood why it was- in fact- weird for mingyu to kiss him, but he had yet to know why jihoon feared the thought of someone liking him.

was it because mingyu was a guy?

was it because they were in the same group?

at this point, mingyu embraced the fact that he had a crush on the older boy.

there was really no description other than that juvenile phrase to illustrate mingyu's feelings.

even if that meant he liked a boy, a band member, a friend.

even if jihoon was disgusted and hated him for it.

mingyu couldn't help that.

as he began unraveling jihoon's sheet, the tag fell off and onto the floor.

that's when mingyu realized, that was no tag.

he wondered how was it even possible for jihoon to write more lyrics, and go to the extent at hiding them.

jihoon knew how curious mingyu was; was it his intent for mingyu to find these all along?

mingyu picked up the piece of paper, his eyes skimming over the scribbled handwriting.

_my overflowing popularity is in direct contrast  
to the empty house inside of my heart  
my chest is puffed when i'm outside  
and i slouch when i'm back home  
i look into the mirror and see my pathetic self  
am i going by the seasons alone? why am I so depressed?  
why am i depressed again? why am i like this?  
loneliness, like a dust is caked on me_

mingyu almost gasped at the words; there was no way jihoon could've possibly still been in that dark space.

he was so happy and carefree lately, apart from this morning that is.

mingyu had been by his side 24/7, how was he still lonely?

he figured this had to be old, but whether it was or not, it still stung that he couldn't help jihoon sooner.

especially knowing how he felt towards him.

but it was unexpected when mingyu flipped over the paper, finding more words.

they were written much neater and the graphite smudged beneath his fingertips, meaning it had to be more recent.

_i thought i liked to lay down and sit down  
but after seeing you, i felt so foolish  
where are you, my happiness?  
my happiness is all here  
i'm so happy i found you _

_i wanna hold your hands as we look in the same direction  
wanna hold you tight when we meet eyes  
spending time with you makes me so happy  
it's making me smile right now _

was it possible that jihoon had wrote this in regards to mingyu?

no, it couldn't be.

jihoon has written plenty of love songs with no reason behind them.

_but what if?_

the words made the tall boy's heart pick up the pace again.

maybe he really did have a chance with him, he just had to get over this awkward stage the two were in right now.

which meant he had to explain himself further.

mingyu thought he was being selfish thinking everything jihoon wrote was involving him now.

still, knowing that jihoon was happy at one point because of mingyu had caused the tall boy's feelings to begin spiraling out of control again.

however there was a knock on the door that interrupted mingyu's temporary joy.

mingyu, afraid it was jihoon, shoved the paper back under the sheets and straightened out the bed.

the door began to creak open.

it was soonyoung.

_*lyrics: Still Lonely, Falling For U- Seventeen*_


	28. Chapter 28

soonyoung seemed worn out, whether from his own frustration or from something jihoon said to him in private.

"jihoonie wanted me to talk to you."

he drawled in a low voice.

"i wanted to apologize for how i acted. i didn't mean to get mad. i just wanted to protect jihoonie."

soonyoung resembled a lost hamster, his cheeks softening his pouted expression, his eyes squinted downwards.

"i really didn't mean it, gyu. i'm sorry, i guess i was just too defensive. i know it's not your fault, jihoonie talked to me about it."

mingyu felt bad for the elder.

he knew soonyoung was truly a sweetheart, but it also wasn't rare for him to have his share of outbursts.

mingyu has been distanced from long time best friends in his life over things like relationships or family, so he could understand soonyoung's bond with jihoon that he didn't want to break.

"hyung, it's okay. things just happen."

with mingyu's forgiveness, soonyoung stepped forward and pulled the tall boy into a tight hug.

the older boy squeezed him tight, hiding his face in the crook of mingyu's neck.

that was something jihoon usually did.

speaking of jihoon, mingyu wondered where he was.

"thanks for understanding, gyu."

soonyoung conferred, pulling away from the tall boy.

as he was about to leave the room, it seemed like he had come upon a realization.

"also, jihoonie wants to talk to you. i suggest you get dressed though, because he wants to go out."

and with that, soonyoung left.

it took a moment for mingyu to process his words.

he was excited that he would have the opportunity to converse with jihoon, probably about what happened early that morning.

he could understand why jihoon would want to get out of the house.

the past tension and the constant presence of the other boys didn't allow much privacy or security for personal matters.

there were only so many memories that the studio could withhold.

mingyu supposed if this soon to be conversation with jihoon had to be isolated between the two of them, it must be sincere.

mingyu didn't know why he was dressing presentable, as it wasn't like jihoon hadn't seen him in no makeup, messy hair, and old clothes before.

but something about the anticipation of this moment was causing mingyu's heart to race.

it would definitely bring up his and jihoon's feelings, defining if mingyu's love was requited.

if he deciphered jihoon's mild rant at 3 am correctly, the older boy probably was grossed out by mingyu.

jihoon couldn't fathom someone having a crush on him, let alone a guy, let alone his fellow band member.

again, he didn't understand those feelings but mingyu did.

mingyu didn't know why it took so long to understand for himself though.

everytime jihoon smiled, it sent butterflies in mingyu's stomach.

but everytime mingyu made jihoon smile, it was like a blanket of paradise washed over him.

jihoon was so precious.

and mingyu was so in love.


	29. Chapter 29

when mingyu was dressed, topping off his warm outfit with a leather jacket, he waited in the living room for jihoon.

he didn't know what was so important to talk about to the point where they had to leave the house.

after all, the rooms had a quiet atmosphere and the other boys were minding their own business for the time being. 

but again, mingyu would do anything for jihoon, especially if it was going to rekindle their relationship.

especially if it was going to give mingyu a chance to confess his love.

so what if jihoon didn't reciprocate the feelings?

so what if he could never look at mingyu the same?

at least mingyu could get this crushing weight off of his shoulders.

it was better for jihoon to know and for mingyu to have a small chance of him feeling the same rather than not confessing at all and never knowing the possibilities of the outcome of this moment.

not too long after waiting on the couch aimlessly scrolling through his phone, gentle footsteps approached the room.

mingyu looked up from his phone to see jihoon.

his posture was shy and he was wearing a snug capelet coat, a big scarf, and a knit beanie.

"you actually got ready."

jihoon mumbled, almost in disbelief.

"you thought i wouldn't? you know i'd do anything to talk with you."

mingyu stood up, accentuating the major height difference between him and the older boy.

"in that case, let's leave already." 

jihoon stated, tugging his beanie down.

with that, the two boys left the house, making their way out to the winter afternoon. 

the clouds were heavy and grey, the slight breeze icy against their skin.

"so why did you wanna leave the house to talk to me?"

mingyu inquired, slowing his strides so he could meet jihoon's pace.

"it's just, too much stuff happened in there. i needed some fresh air and also alone time to just be with you rather than having one of the others potentially interrupting us." 

jihoon buried his mouth beneath his scarf, keeping his hands tucked deep into his coat pockets.

"well where are we gonna go?"

mingyu asked, looking down at the smaller boy beside him.

and there were those sparks again.

jihoon just looked so adorable, there really wasn't another word to describe him at the time.

the moment seemed like déjà vu of when they were walking to the cafe, except jihoon was much clingier then.

mingyu wondered if jihoon was afraid to be clingy with him again.

he wondered if he ruined everything between them.

so much could've happened in the shortest span of time where jihoon could've possibly convinced himself that his cute antics to mingyu were wrong.

"i don't know. i didn't think i'd get this far." 

jihoon murmured beneath his scarf, his small nose a sweet shade of pink from the chilling air.

their missing goal of direction didn't matter, because as long as the two were on a desolate path away from disruptions, they'd be fine.

the silence between them was almost as thick as the damp air.

"so what did you need to talk to me about?" 

mingyu asked, even though he was well aware of what was probably going to go down. 

the apples of jihoon's already rouge cheeks flushed red.

"isn't it obvious, gyu?"

the world grew quiet again as the two started to stroll down and empty park, the bare trees coated in frost, the wind drifting around the leaves upon the cement.

"i just don't know where to start."

jihoon uttered, slowing his steps.

the smaller boy kept his head down, but tucked his scarf beneath his chin.

"i guess i'll begin with this morning. i don't know what came over me really. i guess i was just scared on what to say to you. i didn't know leaving you alone would cause all this animosity. it's really not your fault."

jihoon swallowed, now walking so slow it was near to just standing in place.

"i don't think you understand how i feel. i don't even understand how i feel. like i said, you drive me crazy."

the older boy took a deep breath, shivering as he exhaled.

"it just feels so wrong of me not to say anything to you though. you don't deserve that. i shouldn't have just ignored you. we should've talked things out right then and there. i know i must sound so dumb right now, but i just don't know what to say."

jihoon brought up one of his small hands and clutched at the material of his coat.

"you try so hard to make me happy. and even if i don't show it, i'm always happy when i'm with you. it feels so much different having you make me smile rather than anyone else."

mingyu was so touched at jihoon's words; it took all of his strength not to go and hug the smaller boy right then and there.

"i've been scared of emotions like yours. especially to not just a boy, but to a close friend. and i don't wanna ruin the bond we have right now, which is why i'm so stressed."

the elder took a long deep breath again, as mingyu took account of all of his actions intently.

so was he rejecting him?

was all of mingyu's effort gone to waste because jihoon didn't feel the same?

mingyu didn't really know what he was expecting to be honest. 

he couldn't force jihoon to like him back; he couldn't blame the older boy if he simply preferred to stay friends.

anticipation filled the space between them.

"i know you found my lyrics. the one under my keyboard. the one beneath my sheet. i know you did."

mingyu thought jihoon might've been psychic for a moment.

just how did he know?

"yes, those were about you."

the older boy spoke again in a near whisper.

mingyu's heart dropped into his stomach.

so it was true?

so mingyu's overexaggerated selfish thoughts were actually reality?

at this point, the two of them have stopped walking.

jihoon's eyes were glued to the ground.

how convenient that it then decided to rain.

soft pellets of water slowly masked the grey of the cement.

mingyu silently cursed at the weather change, but kept his ultimate attention on jihoon, who was pouring his heart out. 

"i guess, after looking into it. after thinking for so long, especially after everything we've done..."

the older boy's voice trailed.

mingyu's heart was pounding from suspense.

just what was jihoon going to say?

was he going to feel the same, or just let mingyu down easy?

how was the small boy going to determine the whole future of his and mingyu's friendship?

"minggu, i think i have feelings for you. i like you, a lot."


	30. Chapter 30

there were millions of thoughts swarming through mingyu's head, but no words to say.

jihoon covered his face with his hands as the rain began to hit the ground stronger around them.

"i know it's gross. i'm sorry, minggu. i really am."

mingyu was in such disbelief.

was this really happening? 

did jihoon really feel the same?

mingyu approached the smaller boy cautiously, not knowing how to go about the situation.

this is what he wanted all along: jihoon to like him back.

mingyu just never thought it would ever come to this point.

"jihoonie-hyung," mingyu consoled, placing a hand on jihoon's shoulder.

the smaller boy peeked up from behind his hands, looking up to mingyu.

he was simply precious, like a gem.

and to mingyu, he was prized jewelry.

the elder's eyes were twinkling and nervous, his round pink cheeks speckled with small rain drops, lips parted in anticipation. 

"don't be sorry. i don't know if i made it obvious enough but, i really like you too, hyung."

jihoon seemed taken aback, his eyes widening even further as a gasp escaped his mouth.

sure mingyu kissing him made it evident enough that he had a crush on him, but saying the words himself just filled him with butterflies.

"and i kissed you yesterday because i liked you. i just thought you hated me because of it."

jihoon still had no words, but his eyes explained his emotions thoroughly enough.

"your lyrics, they were written so well too. you have no clue how hard i fell for you, hyung."

mingyu's hand trailed from jihoon's narrow shoulder to his small hand, taking it in his.

"i was in denial at first, like i imagined you are right now, but there's no way i could help how much i felt towards you."

"ahh stop..."

jihoon uttered, covering his face with his free hand.

there was clear joyfulness in the older boy's tone.

"you're being too nice now. don't make it corny."

he stammered as mingyu interlaced his huge fingers with his.

jihoon used to always say he wasn't one for much physical contact, but mingyu was undoubtedly the exception.

mingyu had no idea how he was holding himself together.

he usually had never been this confident, even more-so in this situation.

internally, mingyu was exploding, but managed to maintain a calm demeanor for jihoon's sake.

he himself was still so amazed that the tables have turned.

he had prepared himself for rejection and heartbreak, all for everything to turn around and work in his favor.

"so, what do you say? do you wanna try something out?"

"you fool, of course i do."

with that, jihoon sprung towards mingyu and wrapped his arms around the tall's boy's neck, his tip-toes grazing the floor.

mingyu returned the hug, pulling the smaller boy up in a big warm embrace, jihoon's legs now hovering off the ground.

jihoon and him were chest to chest and he felt the elder's heartbeat race against his own.

mingyu thought he had to be dreaming.

if he was asked a few months ago if he would ever develop a crush on the coldest person in the house, and actually get a chance to a relationship with him, mingyu would've thought he'd be out of his mind.

but as the rain slowly soaked the boys and jihoon squeezed mingyu tighter, he knew that this was reality.

not just reality, but a blessing.

the two pulled away for a moment, still wrapped in each other's arms, but just enough to meet face to face.

jihoon had the most priceless grin, his cheeks a warm rouge, eyes squinted in glee.

mingyu couldn't help himself from returning a smile to the smaller boy, holding back the urge to pull jihoon even closer and kiss him for real this time.

but they were interrupted by booming thunder, and the two were suddenly removed from their own safe little world where it was isolated between one another.

they separated and exchanged giggles, realizing how drenched by rain they were at that point.

"it was stupid of us not to bring an umbrella," jihoon chuckled.

mingyu couldn't help but ogle at jihoon's features, glowing skin damp with water drops, a new brightness to his expression.

"we should get home now before we get sick."

jihoon snickered, wiping the built up water away from the apples of his cheeks.

the two hurried home, jihoon clinging onto mingyu's arm as they splashed through puddles on their way back.

as they were making it to the walkway of their complex, jihoon suddenly stopped in his tracks.

"minggu, what are we supposed to tell the others?"

mingyu had never thought of that before; he had never gone past the possibility of him dating jihoon.

"they don't have to know yet. give us some time first, and then we'll find out when we're ready to let them know."

jihoon nodded at mingyu's response, latching onto his arm one last time before detaching from him to enter the house.


	31. Chapter 31

the two entered the house, soaking wet but still stupidly giggling at each other for what just happened.

mingyu still couldn't wrap his head around the actual reality that he managed to start a relationship with jihoon.

as much as mingyu wanted to rush into things, he held himself back, aware that this would technically be jihoon's first relationship.

if jihoon was comfortable, then so was he.

he didn't know how serious they were going to be, as all of this had happened so suddenly.

before one of the older members could eventually nag the boys for getting water all over the carpet, the two went straight into their shared room, careless grins still plastered on their faces.

when they opened the door, their beds were neat and made, which was odd because they last left their covers in the studio.

jihoon tossed off his beanie as he went towards his dresser.

"soonyoung must've done this, knowing him. he always does stuff for me when he feels bad. he talked to you, right?"

mingyu shrugged off his jacket and ruffled his wet hair.

"yeah. he apologized for everything."

"i sure hope he did. i'm glad he's protective over me, but he went a little over the top. sorry about that."

"it's fine. i forgave him."

mingyu started changing into dry comfy clothing, feeling relief as the warm fabric soothed his cool skin.

he was about to pick up the pile of soaked clothes on the floor, until jihoon's voice spoke out.

"um, minggu? can you do me a favor?"

the tall boy stood up straight and turned to the elder.

jihoon was shirtless with sweatpants, minuscule water droplets dampened his pink blanched skin, his muscular arms hugging himself to cover his pale chest and abs.

"can i borrow one of your shirts? i swear i'll give it back this time. i just wanted to be warmer."

the small boy asked ever so kindly for once.

little did he know, mingyu would let him have anything and everything if he wanted to.

"of course, hyung. you don't even have to ask."

mingyu fished into his dresser, pulling out a sizable t-shirt from his drawer.

he handed it to jihoon who took it with gratitude.

it melted mingyu's heart when the older boy put it on.

normal men's clothes always ran slightly big on jihoon, but because of his and mingyu's difference in proportions, the shirt engulfed him.

the usual short sleeves went elbow length on him, the circled collar was now a swoop-neck lining that exposed his collar bones, the hem that would usually reach mingyu's hips went to jihoon's thighs.

he looked so innocent, which was not a word to usually refer jihoon as.

"stop staring, idiot."

jihoon snapped mingyu out of his thoughts.

mingyu chuckled, stepping closer to the older boy.

"sorry, you're just so cute. whether you like it or not."

jihoon's ears turned pink, and he lightly shoved the tall boy.

when they exited the bedroom, no one was in the living room.

that wasn't uncommon for rainy days.

the others would usually group up in their rooms to waste time away as when they had no schedule, days like these were the most peaceful.

mingyu remembered this as he and wonwoo used to join vernon and soonyoung for movie nights up in their dorm.

seungkwan, seokmin, and joshua would practice vocals upstairs, minghao would draw while junhui played the keyboard, chan would create choreography in his room, and seungcheol and jeonghan would probably be napping together.

jihoon always used his time to go in the studio, as usual, regardless if it was a rainy day or not.

but surprisingly, the small boy didn't even head in the studio's direction, as the first thing he did once stepped foot into the living room was crawl up on the couch.

mingyu shuffled in beside him, and it didn't take long for jihoon to shift towards the taller boy's side.

jihoon rested his head on mingyu's broad shoulder; the atmosphere had never been so silent and calm.

mingyu could hear heavy pattering from outside, smell the scent of rain in jihoon's hair, feel the warmth of their clothes contrast with their cold skin against one another.

the older boy sighed, seemingly content as he snuggled against mingyu.

the taller boy's heart pounded, a sudden fire surged within him, compelling him to take action of some sorts, to do something to break the silence of the moment.

mingyu swallowed.

_would this be the right time?_

_was it too early?_

_would it be awkward?_

so many things ran through mingyu's head regarding one effort.

that was- of course- to kiss jihoon.

for real this time.

it had to be the right time.

they were alone, comfortable, with zero interruptions.

maybe it was about time to share a real kiss, not just a brush of the lips when they're both half-asleep.

jihoon craned his neck to look up at mingyu, his head still on his shoulder.

"what're you thinking about, minggu?"

mingyu looked down at the smaller boy, immediately putting them in a near nose-to-nose position.

he gulped again.

"just some things."

"about us?"

mingyu sighed, staring into the older boy's glistening eyes with the most fond expression he had ever projected.

"hyung, you're too sweet."

jihoon's nose faded pink with blush, whether it was from the cold weather or mingyu's comment.

he didn't retort with a usual defensive response, he simply accepted the compliment, making butterflies fill mingyu to the brim.

jihoon had changed so much in this short amount of time. 

pride and adoration erupted so much through mingyu's body, that he hardly noticed himself leaning closer to the smaller boy.

he tilted his head slightly as jihoon's eyes batted shut, almost on instinct.

he could hear jihoon's heart pounding. 

it awed him at how shy the older boy was, but to be fair, mingyu was equally as nervous.

he brought up his hand to gently cup the side of jihoon's cheek, his skin heating up at his touch.

the gap between them finally closed after what felt like forever.


	32. Chapter 32

mingyu thought he must've gone to heaven and then right back to earth.

jihoon's lips were _actually_ against his, pressing ever so delicately upon each other, and the soft sensations were shooting fireworks off- yet again- in mingyu's chest.

they locked small conscious kisses, lips not quite pursed but rather parted and open-mouthed upon one another.

it was a space that mingyu didn't want to leave.

he was already hooked on the feel, the taste, the comfort of jihoon's supple kiss.

he was a little disconcerted when he had to pull away, as the necessity to breathe interrupted their moment.

mingyu noticed when he gently retracted away from the embrace how jihoon seemed to unwittingly chase the tall boys lips for a lingering second before opening his eyes himself.

mingyu's mouth was tingling as he stared into jihoon's sparkling dilated eyes, the smaller boy's cheeks a faint red.

after a moment of prolonged eye contact, mingyu realized how this secured his bond with jihoon, how that invigorating kiss placed the stamp that sealed their relationship.

_this is actually real._

it didn't take long for the two to spontaneously break out in smiles and giggles at how dumbfounded they were at each other.

it felt more than great to see jihoon so happy.

the smaller boy then rested his head back on mingyu's shoulder, snuggling impossibly closer to the taller.

mingyu wrapped his strong arm gently around the elder, keeping him protected in his hold.

somehow this position managed to shift as time went by.

mingyu had now laid on his back and took up the whole couch.

jihoon laid atop of the younger, his head tucked into mingyu's collar, chest to chest with the tall man, small legs straddling mingyu's lap.

the both of them were in a drowsy state as they hadn't slept at all the night prior.

the soft tapping of the rain and the soothing feel of their heartbeats thumping together wasn't helping them stay very awake either.

mingyu was less than half alert, eyes already closed on instinct, but he remained the smallest bit conscious to wrap his arms around the smaller boy on top of him.

with one hand, he gently rubbed circles on jihoon's lower back, and the other keeping him secure by the shoulders.

he felt jihoon melt against his body, a relieved exhale escaping the older boy. 

"minggu," he murmured in a tender voice.

"hm?"

"you're the best."

and mingyu soared, his heart exploding as if a million sparklers went off inside him.

jihoon had never been so keen with physical contact, or willing to speak with such affection like this. 

usually, lovey-dovey things disgusted the older boy, and he seemed to hate them with a passion.

he was never one for skinship, with the exception of jeonghan, and now mingyu. 

but now that jihoon was experiencing these loving emotions in a way for himself, clearly his views had changed.

mingyu leaned his neck a bit and left a peck upon the top of the smaller boy's head.

jihoon snuggled against him further, his body becoming putty in mingyu's strong arms.

mingyu had never felt more in love.

their relationship was starting off so fantastic, which had to be a miracle.

mingyu just hoped it would remain that way.

he would hate if something were to break them apart again.

he would hate if he made another mistake.


	33. Chapter 33

weeks had now passed since the coming of jihoon and mingyu's new relationship.

surprisingly- even with mingyu's blabbermouth- none of the other boys seemed to be aware of the two dating.

they never had time to really go out either, so most of their "dates" consisted of them bringing their dessert into the studio or their room.

ever since they had gotten together, it seemed like the other boys were always behind every corner of the house.

it was hard to get privacy living with all the others.

mingyu was- what the boys referred to him as- as needy as a puppy.

that meant he expected lots of time for cuddles and kisses.

and although that couldn't be granted at all times, he knew jihoon was doing his best to be more affectionate.

jihoon wasn't ready to tell the others about their relationship yet.

mingyu frankly didn't care when the boys would find out, but he just hoped it'd be soon enough, as he just wanted to be able to express his adoration for jihoon freely.

he could only take private pecks and brief hugs for so long.

at this moment, jihoon and mingyu were on mingyu's bed, for the dozenth time discussing the matter.

mingyu was so eager to let the others know, not for bad reason.

"i just, i don't know minggu. i don't know when i'm ready."

jihoon said for the somewhat hundredth time.

mingyu just couldn't understand what would be so bad about telling the other boys.

even if they didn't verbally, they could still show they were together by no longer keeping their actions in secret.

the others were all incredibly supportive, and some of them looked like they could be dating each other anyways.

mingyu could get the concern that the company would find out, thus spreading to the industry and the fanbase, but that would be so easy to avoid.

the company doesn't stalk their private lives, and no fans had a say in whether they should be together or not.

mingyu's face must've read what he wanted to say, as jihoon took his expression into account.

"don't give me that look again. we already discussed this."

"but hyung, how bad can it be? it's been almost a month. the more we do this hiding and stuff, someone is bound to find out eventually."

mingyu could tell jihoon didn't understand why the younger boy was so keen on the announcing their status together.

mingyu just hated secrets, and wasn't too good at keeping them either.

which is why it was so tense for him to keep his love for jihoon silenced.

mingyu was only so passionate because, well, he loved jihoon.

of course he couldn't say it yet, as he inferred it was way too early, and jihoon still needed time to develop his feelings.

"hmm, i'll consider it again, only because it's been a bit. but you know, i'm just-"

jihoon then hid his face in his hands, letting out a deep sigh.

thoughts must've overwhelmed the older boy's head, as he let out a shiver of stress.

"i'm just scared."

"jihoonie-hyung," mingyu spoke sympathetically, scooting closer towards the smaller boy.

jihoon removed his hands from his face, staring up at the taller boy with wide nervous eyes.

at seeing this, mingyu's heart turned to mush, and instinctively he lifted jihoon by his waist into his lap.

"hey, hey. don't be worried. we don't have to tell anyone, okay? not until you want you."

mingyu couldn't stand seeing jihoon- his jihoon- distressed in any way.

jihoon's hands rested against mingyu's chest, and his back slightly arched against the tall boy's arms wrapped around him.

"well, i feel that's not fair to you. you've been nothing but nice this whole time. the least i could do for you is give you something in return."

jihoon mumbled, fingers tightening on mingyu's shirt.

mingyu projected a warm smile, pressing a kiss to jihoon's nose, instantly causing the smaller boy to blush.

"don't worry about it, really. i just want you to be happy. whatever you're cool with, i am too."

"i hate you so much sometimes."

"sure you do."

jihoon responded with a scrunch of his nose and a playful punch to mingyu's chest.

the tall boy chuckled, moving his hands from jihoon's lower back up to cup the smaller boy's chubby cheeks.

looking into jihoon's smiley eyes as a wholesome grin formed on his face, mingyu had to swallow the urge to refrain himself from saying something that he felt so strongly, but might regret if professed this early.

_I love you._

"you're too cute, jihoonie-hyung."

and with that, he pulled the smaller boy in for a short but sweet kiss on the lips.

he hoped that one day he would be able to tell jihoon that.


	34. Chapter 34

it had now been a bit over a month into the relationship.

jihoon was getting more comfortable cuddling with mingyu when others were around.

they'd even exchange the briefest of kisses when everyone's backs were turned.

mingyu wasn't complaining though.

he would take all the time in the world for jihoon.

the other boys had yet to be suspicious, or at least show that they were.

right now, jihoon was in the studio working on new songs, leaving mingyu with the few others that were in the living room.

mingyu wanted to join his boyfriend, but had to respect his boundaries, as jihoon's work was crucial to the whole group's career.

mingyu was aimlessly scrolling through his phone, while the other boys either chatted with each other or watched tv.

"hey mingyu?"

a voice interrupted.

it was soonyoung.

"can i talk to you for a sec?"

mingyu remembered one of his previous "talks" with soonyoung, and that didn't go well, so he immediately obliged, afraid of the older getting mad at him again.

mingyu followed soonyoung into the kitchen, where if they spoke low enough, none of the others could hear them.

"what's up, hyung?"

mingyu asked, leaning against the counter.

soonyoung paused for a moment.

"you and jihoonie, everything's good?"

mingyu nodded slowly, confused on why soonyoung was bringing this up.

another pause; soonyoung shifted closer to mingyu, now whispering.

"are you guys- you know- a thing?"

mingyu's stomach dropped.

he didn't know what to say.

well, of course he knew the answer.

the answer was yes.

but he promised jihoon he wouldn't tell anybody, not until they were collectively ready as a couple.

he didn't know what to do.

he couldn't deny it just for it to be professed later.

also, he couldn't lie to soonyoung, who is jihoon's best friend.

soonyoung was bound to find out eventually, right?

mingyu pulled the older boy closer, looking around to see if any of the boys were near.

their chatter from the living room remained as constant as always, which was a relief.

"i can't lie to you. yes we're dating. but please don't tell anyone. i promised jihoon i wouldn't say anything."

soonyoung had a cheeky grin on his face, excitement in his eyes.

"i figured as much. i expected that of him.. but congratulations anyways!"

the conversations going on in the living room quieted when a single voice spoke up.

"guys, have you seen minggu?"

it was jihoon.

as mingyu made his way back to the living room, soonyoung trailing behind him, he was met with his sleepy looking boyfriend.

he must've been working so hard.

"there you are."

he simpered, approaching the tall boy, ignoring soonyoung's presence altogether.

"i need your help with something."

the small boy lightly tugged on mingyu's strong arm, beckoning him to follow him.

the boys seemed to find no suspicions, except obviously soonyoung, who still had a playfully devious grin on his face. 

jihoon pulled mingyu into the studio, eyelids hanging low.

"jihoonie-hyung, you seem so tired. i think you should rest."

the older boy shook his head.

"i wanna show you this first."

jihoon began clicking a bunch of things on his desktop computer, mingyu taking a seat beside him unknowing of what was going on.

"i know i shouldn't be wasting my time, and i should be focusing more on the new album, but i had some writer's block for the songs. i decided to just make a short little thing to clear my head before i moved on."

jihoon rubbed his eyes, leaning back in his office chair.

"i usually hate the sound of my own voice when I'm not trying to actually sing, but because i'm only showing this to you, i don't care what i sound like."

mingyu was puzzled, but touched all the while.

jihoon made a private solo song and mingyu is the only person he's showing it to.

mingyu felt so good knowing that jihoon trusted him.

with a final click, the speakers started projecting light piano notes.

the key was quite mellow and more acoustic; no edm which was unlike of jihoon to compose.

jihoon's voice started singing out incredibly soft through the speakers.

mingyu turned to the smaller boy, seeing him cover his face with the sweater paws from his hoodie.

he smiled at him before focusing in depth on the lyrics.

the lyrics that jihoon took the time to share with mingyu.

_to me  
you're a tree in a deep forest  
i breathe in you  
my gratitude is so big_

_when i'm hiding under your shade  
as you spread your branches  
you share the light  
in this warmth_

_my sadness melts  
i want to be your comfort  
when things get hard_

_come to me  
you can come to me, any time  
come to me  
just how I leaned on you_

_sadness disappeared like snow melting  
my tears that lingered on your clothes  
all the times you protected me, thank you  
if it's you, anything is ok  
so come to me_

_you're my only tree  
my heart will never change_

_when i circled around you  
i was so happy  
because you always looked at me_

_*lyrics: Come To Me- Seventeen*_


	35. Chapter 35

when the song finished playing, mingyu's face was bright with fondness and pride. 

jihoon had curled up into himself, tucking his chin beneath the collar of his shirt.

"so? did you like it?"

jihoon usually was never someone to ask for approval, but he was different with mingyu now.

"like it? hyung, i loved it!"

mingyu exclaimed, springing out of his seat and lifting jihoon up into a hug.

the small boy's feet were dangling in the air as mingyu's strong arms held him tight.

jihoon brought his legs up to wrap around the tall boy's waist, returning the embrace as he giggled into mingyu's shoulder.

"you never fail to amaze me."

mingyu couldn't control the smile that had settled permanently on his face.

"it was rushed, but i had to get something down before continuing with the other songs for the album."

"don't even worry about it. it was so beautiful. you are so talented, hyung."

he heard jihoon chuckle again.

the elder moved his head to face mingyu, small body still completely hoisted up off the ground.

his small hands came up and cupped the sides of mingyu's face, an iconic priceless smile on his full cheeks.

"jihoon, i-"

_i love you._

mingyu bit back the urge to say those words yet again.

he really wanted to, and this seemed like the perfect moment. 

face-to-face with who he saw as the love of his life; it caused emotions to flood mingyu's mind.

"i don't know how i got so lucky with you."

he retorted instead, looking deep into the older boy's smiley eyes.

jihoon's ears flushed pink.

"shut up."

he playfully spoke before leaning in to catch mingyu's lips with a chaste kiss.

jihoon had been gradually getting more confident lately.

with every hour him and mingyu spent together, jihoon visibly began to love initiating kisses and cuddles.

with all his busy work, of course he craved extra attention in the little moments he had with mingyu.

their kiss lasted for a few moments, nothing carnal but purely of sweet goofy affection.

when they pulled away, jihoon slumped his torso against mingyu's, not removing his legs locked around the tall boy's mid-section.

mingyu rubbed jihoon's back with one hand, his other arm on the underside of jihoon's plush thighs to hold him up. 

"i think it's time you take a break. you've been in here forever. why don't we go out?" 

mingyu offered as the elder nuzzled his face into the crook of mingyu's neck.

"is that a date? then of course. i think i need to get rid of some stress."

jihoon responded in a giddy tone.

mingyu gently set the small boy down back to his feet, and the two went into their shared bedroom.

mingyu began sifting through his dresser and jihoon his own.

"so where are you planning to take me?"

"figured we could go that bakery cheol-hyung talked about. somewhere lowkey. i can borrow the car and drive us there to stay out of the cold."

mingyu grinned to himself at the thought of jihoon all bundled up in over-sized clothes, enjoying a pastry while talking about the songs he had worked on.

the most casual things jihoon did made mingyu melt no matter what.

that reminded him, mingyu would die to see jihoon in one of his tops again.

"ah hyung," mingyu spoke up, grabbing one of his sweatshirts.

"yeah?"

"i forgot to tell you. i have this hoodie but i don't fit it anymore. do you want it?"

that was a blatant lie. 

the sweatshirt fit mingyu perfectly fine, in fact, it actually ran a bit big on him. 

but just the thought of jihoon enveloped in the overabundance warm fabric was so cute.

because he knew jihoon would definitely say yes. 

"really? wouldn't you wanna give it to junhui-hyung or- ya know- someone bigger that would fill it out more?"

jihoon rubbed the nape of his neck, looking up at the tall boy.

mingyu smiled wide, handing jihoon the sweatshirt.

"no one would look as good in it as i imagine you would. plus, you're _my_ boyfriend. now here."

jihoon shyly took the offer, and slid the big jacket over his t-shirt.

mingyu wanted to just scoop the older boy up right then and there and shower him with affection.

the hem of the sweatshirt reached a bit lower than jihoon's thigh, almost to his knee.

the sleeves were far too long and provided sweater paws for days.

he looked so fragile, so petite, despite him actually being very muscular and strongly built.

mingyu wanted nothing more than to just protect him.

"what are you staring for? put on a damn shirt and let's get out of here."

jihoon playfully snapped.

he obviously knew his affect on the younger boy.

"you're right. sorry hyung."

"oh shut up."

jihoon chuckled before pulling the tall boy into yet another hug.

mingyu didn't mind the affection.

he actually craved it so much, and loved every moment that he spent with jihoon dearly.

he felt jihoon exhale into his chest, his short arms squeezing around his mid-section.

mingyu then leaned down a pressed a kiss to the top of the short boy's head, mouthing an _i love you_ against his hair.


	36. Chapter 36

"cheol-hyung, can i borrow the car?"

mingyu asked while shrugging on his coat in the living room.

jihoon was looking for his earmuffs in the bedroom, so he wouldn't know whatever conversation was going to transpire between the eldest and mingyu.

"sure. the keys should be in the kitchen."

seungcheol responded, not removing his eyes from his phone.

when mingyu came back from retrieving the keys, still waiting for jihoon, he took a seat on the couch.

he began daydreaming about his soon-to-be date with jihoon, resting his chin in his palm.

how jihoon would be clinging to his side for warmth.

how the tip of his nose would get pink from the cold.

how his makeup-free face would be bright with a smile.

"gyu?"

spoke up seungcheol.

he must've took account of the fond expression on mingyu's face, how unusual it must've been regarding he knew of nothing going inside the younger boy's head.

mingyu must've looked so stupid grinning fondly at nothing.

"yeah?"

"where are you gonna go?"

mingyu wasn't sure what to tell the older.

be blatantly honest and say he's taking jihoon on a date, or beat around the bush and tell him they're just going to hang out.

"oh, i'm taking jihoonie-hyung out. he's been working so much lately, so i figured he deserves a break."

"cool. that sounds good for him."

mingyu was relieved that seungcheol didn't gain any suspicions.

"speaking of which, can i ask you something?"

never mind then.

"i've happened to notice you and jihoonie have been much closer than usual. i've meant to ask this for a long time because you haven't been like this before. do you guys have something going on or?"

mingyu gulped.

not again.

not another déjà vu of what happened with soonyoung.

jihoon would be pissed if anyone else found out.

"i don't know what you're talking about."

"cut the crap, mingyu. i know you know what i mean."

mingyu remained silent.

mingyu was a horrible liar.

"i'm not judging or anything, you know. it's just he's never been so close with anyone before and-"

thankfully, jihoon walked into the room before mingyu could answer seungcheol.

"oh, hi cheol-hyung. minggu, are we leaving or what?"

and mingyu almost completely forgot the leader was even there.

jihoon looked so incredibly small and adorable that mingyu would've cooed aloud if it weren't for seungcheol being in the room.

"yeah we are. see ya, cheol-hyung."

mingyu put a secure arm around jihoon's shoulder and lead him out the front door.

"so what were you and cheol talking about?"

jihoon asked as mingyu unlocked the car, taking the passenger seat.

"ah, nothing. just saying what i needed the car for and whatever."

mingyu started the car and began driving down the road.

"i've never realized how much space there is up here."

jihoon brought up, referring to the front seats.

they usually took taxis or vans that their managers drove, and jihoon was always crammed in the back between two other boys whenever they'd travel together.

dozens of thoughts filled mingyu's head at how truly sweet jihoon was, appreciating the little things all while working so hard.

then they came upon a speed bump, tearing mingyu away from his thoughts as his arm instinctively came out to jihoon's chest to reduce the impact.

the two chuckled, one of jihoon's small hands then wrapping around mingyu's forearm while his other began fiddling with the younger boy's long fingers.

mingyu had no problem steering with one hand; it may not have been the safest option, but he'd hate to rip away from jihoon's affection.

his mind always got so clouded with love whenever he was with jihoon.

he couldn't help it.

he loved everything about his boyfriend.

from his sarcasm to his smile, everything.

mingyu knew an opportunity would come up soon enough where he could tell jihoon he loved him.

but for now, he'd just have to wait.


	37. Chapter 37

the bakery was small but carried a wholesome vibe; it was quiet and private that way the boys wouldn't be noticed by any potential fans.

mingyu and jihoon had taken a little table to themselves; no one else was in there but a few older women on the other end of the minuscule building. 

they had purchased their pastries; the only thing being sweeter than those was the loving energy surrounding the two boys.

jihoon wore a cute contagious grin that made mingyu's heart swell.

seeing his boyfriend so happy lately made him feel more than pleased.

"so you really think they are keeping _that_ as a secret from us?"

mingyu asked, proceeding with the random small talk topics that the two seemed to drone on about all the time.

"i bet. twenty dollars that they're already married and didn't invite us to the wedding."

jihoon responded before his phone buzzed.

"speaking of which, jeonghan-hyung just texted me."

"i wonder what he wants."

jihoon set down his pastry and began to text back.

"well what did he say?"

jihoon was silent, his face turned pink.

he showed mingyu his phone.

**is it true you and mingyu went on a date? is that why you're not home?**

**_date? what made you think of that? we're just hanging out._ **

**hmm, okay uji whatever you say :)**

"do you think we've been too obvious lately?"

jihoon asked, retracting his phone.

mingyu had no clue on how jeonghan inferred that.

unless seungcheol told him something.

unless soonyoung told seungcheol to tell him something.

"not at all. i bet he's just teasing. you know how jeonghan-hyung is."

so jihoon obviously still wasn't ready to tell anyone about them dating.

that put mingyu in a situation where he had dug himself into a hole.

he told soonyoung their secret, seungcheol pretty much got the point, and now jeonghan was on their case.

if jihoon were to find out mingyu said anything, there was no doubt that he would get upset.

but mingyu just didn't understand why jihoon was so afraid.

he never wanted to pressure him in anyway, but he could only wait so long. 

the two then finished up their sweets and left the bakery.

it was a slight stroll back to the car, but they didn't rush.

mingyu's eyes were glued down onto jihoon.

how the smaller boy was swallowed up by his large sweatshirt, his black hair sticking out a little puffy beneath the hood in which jihoon threw on over his earmuffs.

mingyu's heart felt full to the brim every time he acknowledged the more innocent qualities of jihoon.

from the older boy's plump cheeks to his little eye smiles, mingyu was utterly in love with the wholesomeness his boyfriend possessed. 

the streets were practically clear, a slight haze blanketing the dewy air.

"minggu," jihoon murmured.

"yes?"

the two stopped in their tracks.

jihoon kept his head down, fiddling with his sweater paws.

"i've thought about it and i'm sure i've kept you waiting long enough. it's not fair to you and we're not being honest to everyone."

the older boy stepped towards mingyu, taking his one of his large hands in his smaller delicate ones.

he hesitantly turned his head up to meet mingyu's gaze.

his eyes were twinkling bright, the light blush coating the apples of his cheeks for the whole day had remained there as if painted on.

"i think i'm ready to tell the others- you know- about us."

joy burst through mingyu's body from the inside out.

mingyu was the absolute worst at keeping secrets, so hearing this from jihoon was such a relief.

he didn't care for any nearby bystanders.

he leaned down and picked jihoon up into his arms.

he spun him in a little circle, kissing his cheeks, making the older boy giggle.

"hyung! i'm so happy you're ready. i swear everything will be just fine." 

mingyu's smile felt brighter than the sun, and jihoon's returning grin even more so.

their dramatic hug kept a warm atmosphere between the two of them, working as a barrier from the chilly air.

"you're too much." 

jihoon chuckled, failing to maintain a sincere tone.

"but you like it."

"i do. never thought i'd actually say that regarding you, dummy."

jihoon teased before locking his legs back around mingyu's mid-section.

he buried his face into mingyu's shoulder, obviously drawn to the tall boy's warmth.

mingyu took this as a signal that he was going to be carrying jihoon back to the car, and had absolutely no issue with it.

any chance he got to have jihoon in his arms, he loved it. 

it fulfilled mingyu's impulsive need to protect his boyfriend.

and with the older boy sighing in content, nuzzling his face further into mingyu, mingyu knew he fulfilled his job in making jihoon feel safe.

mingyu thought those three words again, so desperate to express them aloud, but held them back.

_i love you._

"what was that, minggu?"


	38. Chapter 38

mingyu swallowed and jihoon straightened himself up to meet him face to face, remaining still in his embrace.

his head was cocked innocently to the side, his large hoodie shaping his round cheeks flatteringly.

mingyu couldn't come up with an excuse now.

jihoon was clever when it came to overhearing mingyu.

mingyu knew the older boy would store every phrase in the back of his mind to recall upon and bring up later.

"i umm," mingyu's cheeks burnt up.

a wave of cool breeze brisked through the two of them, causing jihoon to shiver against the tall boy.

"nevermind ggu, just tell me at home."

mingyu thanked any possible greater entity that jihoon misheard him to put off the conversation.

as much as mingyu wanted jihoon to know he loved him, now probably wasn't the time, even though mingyu's heart deemed it so.

after all, they should have been getting home soon.

jihoon had to continue with his work, and it was far too chilly to just stay out on the street like that.

it didn't take long for the two to huddle into the car.

mingyu blasted the heaters, keeping one arm down on the center console for jihoon to hold, his other hand managing the steering wheel.

the older boy leaned down and pressed his cold cheek to mingyu's hand, melting against the warm touch of the larger man.

mingyu had yet to find out how he got so lucky.

how he managed to fall in love with the perfect boy.

everything about jihoon, mingyu absolutely adored.

he just wanted jihoon to know that, but was always meddled with the thought that it was too early to say he loved him.

but with their relationship escalating pretty well, mingyu knew he was guaranteed a day where he would be able to say that.

he'd just have to be patient.

they pulled up to the house in little time.

jihoon clung to the tall boy's side as they made their way to the front door, pulling away from him just as they entered.

seungcheol, soonyoung, and jeonghan awaited in the living room, seeming to be in the middle of a conversation that the couple's presence had interrupted.

the three greeted them, all with an odd tweak in their smiles.

it was a suspicious coincidence, as those three seemed to know of what was going on between jihoon and mingyu.

they had been the most teasing ever since jihoon and mingyu got close, not in a bad way though. 

mingyu was about to join the three elders, but was stopped when a small tug on his sleeve guided him the other way.

jihoon pulled him into their shared room, taking off his earmuffs.

"ugh, those three. of course they were waiting for us."

the small boy grumbled, changing out his sweats for some shorts, keeping his boyfriend's obscenely large sweatshirt on him.

"you didn't tell them anything beforehand, did you?"

jihoon asked, ruffling his black hair.

mingyu immediately felt guilty.

it was pretty much against his will to tell soonyoung, and the other two obviously figured it out using context clues.

"no, hyung. of course not."

the words slipping from mingyu's lips showered the tall boy with anxiousness.

thankfully, jihoon seemed not to have noticed mingyu lying through his teeth.

"well, let's get all the guys together i guess. i wanna get this over with."

jihoon spoke exasperated, rubbing his eyes with his sweater paws.

the longer mingyu stared at his boyfriend, the further he began to sink into that familiar fond space.

he truly loved everything about jihoon.

from his shy grins, to his sweet giggles, to his pink cheeks, to his smiley eyes, to his small stature, to anything and everything beyond.

maybe coming out to all the boys would be a step closer to mingyu finally being able to say those three words.

but mingyu couldn't stare at jihoon much longer, as before he knew it, the short boy was already pulling him out of the room.


	39. Chapter 39

a sudden shyness seemed to course over jihoon as he remained statuesque in the kitchen while mingyu retrieved all the boys together in the living room.

mingyu understood it though.

jihoon- usually being quite reserved- was making such a big move to announce their relationship; it was a large step for the older boy to take.

mingyu usually had no problem stupidly exposing himself to the other boys, but now that he was dating jihoon, he had to rationalize his decisions more.

his demeanor and choices would not only affect him, but now also his boyfriend.

"ugh, what's this about mingyu?"

junhui whined, being awoken from his nap by the tall boy.

"come on, junnie-hyung. it's urgent."

"what's so urgent at this time in the afternoon?"

mingyu didn't reply, instead proceeded to drag junhui out from his bed.

mingyu had already gathered over half of the boys into the living room, all of them muttering on what this could be about.

mingyu finally got the last of the boys huddled together.

he was now headed into the kitchen to get a hold of jihoon.

the small boy was slumped against the counter, hugging himself with mingyu's sweatshirt.

his chin was buried beneath the collar, an evident anxious look in his marble eyes.

"aw, jihoonie."

mingyu cooed to the older, pulling him into a hug.

jihoon buried his face in mingyu's broad chest, clearly finding a sense of comfort within the tall boy's embrace.

"you got this, come on. you don't even have to speak, i'll do it all. even if i sound dumb."

instead of snapping back like usual, jihoon simply nodded, tightly holding onto the back of mingyu's shirt as the younger boy lead him into the living room.

"i think he's moving out."

"maybe jihoon and him are planning a duo?"

"no way, they're obviously star crossed lovers."

"please don't tell me they're leaving the group."

"i mean what could be so important? mingyu's usually never this serious, and also i haven't seen jihoonie at all."

the chatter from the living room continued until the couple came into view, slowly trailing off into silence as the boys' eyes followed the two.

seungcheol, soonyoung, and jeonghan stopped their incessant whispering as mingyu stepped up to speak.

"so, i brought you guys in here for a legit reason believe it or not."

jihoon was now beside mingyu, still clutching to the back of the hem of the younger's shirt, his cheeks brushed red.

jihoon's eyes wandered; usually he was the better of the two when it came to speaking in front of people, but this was a whole different situation that he'd have yet to get used to.

"as you know, jihoon and i have been closer lately- well, more like these past few months especially- and there's something we'd like to tell all of you."

jihoon turned his head down to the floor, and mingyu wrapped a strong arm around him as a sense for support.

"to keep it short without exaggerating too much," mingyu took a deep breath.

some members were practically on the edge of their seats, while some's faces were construed with bewilderment.

mingyu knew how much this moment would impact the future of his relationship with not just jihoon, but also all the other boys.

surely they were all supportive.

jihoon slightly shifted to stand behind him, mingyu's obnoxious height blocking the smaller from view apart from a tuft of black fluffy hair that sprung from behind mingyu's arm.

"well, jihoon and i are dating."


	40. Chapter 40

jihoon stifled a whine at mingyu's words, now stepping completely behind the tall boy to hide himself from the view of the others.

mingyu stared at the boys as a delay of silence filled the atmosphere.

did they mishear him?

were they all too shocked to respond?

mingyu was about to repeat himself and rephrase his words when finally joshua spoke,

"okay cool."

and with his statement followed other expressions of "congrats" and "that was it?"

"wait wait, you guys aren't surprised?"

mingyu was confused at the nonchalant reaction of the other boys.

he felt jihoon start to creep out from behind him, the elder's small hands loosening his tight grip on mingyu's shirt.

"not really. it's not like you guys haven't been totally obvious or anything."

chan stood up and reassuringly patted mingyu's shoulder.

"we just kinda guessed it for ourselves. you guys have been a living drama for months, but we thought it would be wrong to speak up without you guys being ready to come out and all."

seungkwan addressed, a wholesome grin on his face as well.

"so you guys don't think it's weird?"

jihoon mumbled out in question, his hands now latched onto mingyu's forearm.

"of course not. we obviously support you. we're family, duh."

seokmin exclaimed.

"after all, it's totally not like other people in this house are hiding secrets from us too."

soonyoung teased, causing the others to laugh and jeonghan to slap his arm.

jihoon let out a sigh of relief, and hugged mingyu's arm tighter. 

"all that waiting for nothing."

the small boy grumbled beneath his breath.

"well, hyung, i don't know what you were really expecting."

mingyu replied, smiling down to the smaller boy.

"i wasted so much time being stressed when i didn't have to."

as the boys began to naturally spread out amongst the house yet again, jihoon started heading into the studio, mingyu tagging along behind him.

"i told you there was nothing to worry about, jihoonie-hyung."

jihoon scoffed, running his fingers through his hair as he took a seat in the studio.

"well, now that that's all over with, i need to continue working."

mingyu was about to exit- knowing that jihoon preferred privacy when he was composing- when the elder's voice stopped him in his tracks.

"you can stay in here if you want. i mean, as long as you're quiet. after all, you want this album to come out good right?"

mingyu smiled, recognizing the little character changes in his usually insanely stubborn boyfriend.

he had become so much more warm and kind since dating the younger.

"aw jihoonie-"

"don't think of it too much, you're just my exception."

jihoon wasn't too keen on giving compliments, but mingyu took every little word of acknowledgment as praise.

mingyu smirked, nodding in content.

he took a seat beside jihoon as the small boy put on his headphones, immediately beginning to fiddle with soundtracks and additional edm on his computer.

mingyu couldn't help but grin fondly at the intelligent boy beside him.

he was the reason not only all the boys' careers had been flourishing, but also the main source of mingyu's happiness.

everything in his life has been only sailing uphill.

everything was finally coming together, his newfound emotions filling that long term void he held in his heart for who knows how long. 

"will you stop staring at me? i can feel your gaze."

mingyu snapped back out of his little string of thoughts to see jihoon beaming straight into his eyes, one of his eyebrows raised, his hand hovering over the mouse of the desktop.

mingyu chuckled.

"sorry jihoonie-hyung, you're just so beautiful."

"stop teasing me. you're throwing me off."

jihoon was always so abrupt, just how mingyu liked it.

it was a part of jihoon's natural personality, and mingyu would never want him to change that.

"i can leave if you want," mingyu offered.

the elder replied with a scoff, turning back to the computer.

mingyu began to arise from his seat, turning around slowly before he felt a small grip on his arm. 

"wait, i didn't mean it. please stay, ggu."

he turned around to find jihoon reaching out to him with puppy dog eyes, a pout on his lips, his expensive headphones now hung around his neck.

god, mingyu was so utterly in love.

"if you insist."

the tall boy chuckled, reclaiming his seat beside his boyfriend.

"do i give you motivation all of a sudden?"

"shut up. yes."

jihoon mumbled, letting his voice trail off.

jihoon even admitting to the smallest of his feelings and not constantly denying it sent mingyu into a wave of euphoria.

as the small boy put his headphones back on, mingyu remained staring fondly, mouthing three words he wish jihoon would hear soon enough.


	41. Chapter 41

it didn't take long for the boundaries between the two lovers to be broken.

jihoon was now sitting on mingyu's lap in the office chair, chest to chest with the taller boy. 

he claimed it was because of the warmth, but mingyu knew jihoon usually was reluctant to admit that he just wanted to be in his arms.

the elder was looking over mingyu's shoulder, proceeding to work on the computer.

mingyu's back was now to the screen, his gaze focused up on his boyfriend.

his large hands gently rested on jihoon's hips, his fingers slipped just beneath the waistband of jihoon's shorts rubbing small comforting circles into his warm pale skin.

"i think i need a break," jihoon spoke exasperatedly, tossing his headphones upon the desk.

the small boy lowered his posture and sunk into mingyu's embrace, sighing deeply into the crook of the younger's neck.

no matter how long him and jihoon have been close, it was just a whole new rejuvenating feeling every time they touched.

mingyu was so utterly, stupidly, compulsively, impossibly in love.

"thanks for being patient and waiting for me," jihoon murmured, allowing his body to relax in mingyu's soft hug.

"you're so amazing, hyung. i swear, everything about you just-"

"nuh uh, not the time to be cheesy, minggu."

jihoon cut the younger boy off.

mingyu knew why, because if he were to proceed with his words, jihoon would become a blushing mess. 

"i'm just being legit."

jihoon nuzzled against mingyu further.

"this album will be great, don't even worry. every time you produce something, it's flawless, you know?"

mingyu knew that jihoon secretly was a sucker for praise, so he always kept the compliments coming despite jihoon's stubbornness against it. 

"i've never really taken this long on a mini album. i guess i just wanted this one to be special for some reason."

mingyu could listen forever on jihoon's rambles about composing.

he loved jihoon's voice. 

the way the inclination in his tone rose and his voice got all high when he speaks of something with passion.

the way the small boy sang with such a pretty register that could melt the hearts of anyone.

the way jihoon laughed, instantly brightening up any storm going on in mingyu's head.

"and, there is one more thing. i have another song, but i don't know whether to put it in the album or not."

jihoon shuffled out of mingyu's lap and stood at the computer, clicking on files mingyu didn't recognize.

"why? a hidden track? or do you just feel like it's not ready?"

mingyu questioned.

jihoon was usually so confident with his music work; why would there ever be a song the producer was unsure about?

"you'll see."

"am i the only one going to hear it?"

"probably."

jihoon now took a separate seat, his hand hovering over the mouse.

"now i know i should be using my time wisely, and this is probably another reason why i take so long to get stuff done, but you'll get what i mean."

did jihoon make another song for himself?

he has before, and he has for mingyu.

instead of further questioning, mingyu just stared at jihoon with intent, awaiting for the older boy to play the audio of whatever he had prepared.

it was a peaceful guitar piece playing.

jihoon obviously did this a while ago, as he had spent the whole evening with mingyu and had only been working on edm ever since.

even if it were a short song, mingyu would still be absolutely touched.

anything jihoon produced, mingyu was highly grateful for.

jihoon took time out of his busy busy days to provide something for the younger boy to hear, and the notion absolutely made mingyu's heart swell with worth.

it was jihoon's precious singing voice coming through those speakers, which instantly made mingyu melt.

_whenever it's hard  
you can get a hug from me  
i am the same_

_no matter how much you hide it  
you know you can't hide it forever  
so we can smile together  
don't be sorry, don't worry  
don't be scared, now don't cry_

_to me you are very precious  
you can tell me today was tough  
i am here, you suffered a lot  
i love you  
i will hug you_

mingyu was about to speak up, his mind being so blown at the beautiful melody that he didn't even have time to comprehend the lyrics.

but an additional message was added to the ending. 

"minggu, i love you."

the sound of jihoon's voice softly projected through the speakers.

mingyu's heart exploded at that.

jihoon had been peeking shyly up at the younger boy, awaiting his reaction.

mingyu had no words, had no idea how to describe the absolute euphoria he felt.

"jihoonie," he cooed, tears of joy forming in his eyes.

mingyu stood up and picked up his boyfriend, holding him tightly in his arms.

"you have no idea how long i've been waiting to hear that, hyung."

mingyu cried excitedly, embracing jihoon with the most ultimate love and affection that he could profess.

"i love you too. so so much."

mingyu wanted to say a lot more, but his swelling heart prevented any following words to come out, and he was afraid he'd sob if he continued.

jihoon giggled at his goofy loving mess of a boyfriend.

the two were ecstatic, engulfed in the newfound love that had blessed their relationship.

which is why most times, lyrics speak for themselves.

and in jihoon's case it did.

and in mingyu's heart, they'd stay engraved forever.

_*lyrics: Hug- Seventeen*_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovely readers! I wrote this story a few years ago, and had since moved it from wattpad to here! I hope you guys enjoyed it! I don't see many jigyu stories here, so I hope my fellow jigyu enthusiasts enjoyed this fluffy piece. Please check out my other stories, and I will post more soon! Thank you <3  
> 


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